Friday, January 23, 2009

Work-related: Styrofoam coffin


The flower shop asked me to take this photo a couple weeks ago. This is an Isabel Bloom figurine, or statue (is it still a "figurine" if it's two feet long?), or whatever, that they were unpacking, and something about the hands folded over the chest and the form-fitting styrofoam block struck them as amusing. They have senses of humor over there.

I don't know whether Isabel Bloom is well-known in the gardening world; work is the only place I can think of where I've seen her stuff, and I don't recall hearing it mentioned on the other garden blogs. Though in fairness, I've only actively searched for it once in my life, today when I was hunting for the website, so I wouldn't really know.

This got me to thinking, though: why not styrofoam coffins for real? I mean, it's waterproof, longer-lasting than wood, cheaper to make and transport, potentially made from recycled materials, gentler on the pallbearers, and easy to claw your way out of if you were accidentally buried alive or became a vampire, which is an important but oft-neglected consideration. (Imagine how many vampires are out there right now, killing time in their coffins waiting for the wood to rot: that's got to be kind of boring.) Plus it would protect against shipping damage. I'm sure St. Peter (or whoever has his job, but in Hell) would appreciate that. Granted it's not the most attractive material, but you could cover it with a wood veneer of some kind easily enough.

It would not a good choice to bury in areas subject to heavy flooding or erosion, obviously. I'm intrigued by the mental image of a thousand eight-by-five-foot, corpse-filled styrofoam blocks bobbing along atop raging floodwaters, but there are probably solid public sanitation arguments to be made against it. I dunno. There's a good idea in all this somewhere, I'm just positive.


6 comments:

lancetx said...

Now I have an image of bobbing Styrofoam coffins in flood waters.

You may have well made my day.

Water Roots said...

Ha ha ha...you made my day too! Your imagination is priceless...

Fran said...

I have to agree that styrofoam/polystyrene could be very effectively used as a coffin, you would have make sure that the base was thick enough to ensure that the occupant didn't fall out. ;-(
I could be slightly biased as I work with the stuff on a daily basis. We made lightweight potting bench entirely out of styrofoam with a seat. This is to show you how versatile it is. Potting benches to coffins ???

Anonymous said...

Kudos to your Dr. Horrible reference. I didn't recognize it until I saw it in context. Bravo.

Anonymous said...

biggest argument against Styrofoam would probably be that that stuff never rots and will end up in small pieces in soil. which is probably not what you want.

mfg
w

Aunt Debbi/kurts mom said...

Oh dear, now I am going to dream of vampires buried in white coffins:P BTW, I should have said Sawyer wants a shirt in my comments wednesday. Looks like we will be seeing that lovely bare chest for the entire season.