Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Plant-Related Drag Queen Names

In honor of the beginning of the fourth season of RuPaul's Drag Race (viewable on-line at the LogoTV.com website1), and because after watching the first episode I had trouble getting to sleep because I kept thinking of drag names, here's a list of horticultural drag names. It's possible (likely?) that some of these have already been used by someone, somewhere, since drag's been around a long time. Any duplication of existing drag names is unintentional.

Any budding (pun is intended, but I'm very sorry about it) drag queens who fancy one of these is free to take it, with my blessing, though I'm afraid none are up to the cleverness of Season 4's "Sharon Needles," or even season 3's "Mimi Imfurst."

Because I fear some of these may be a bit too contrived to be easily decipherable, I've added explanations: after every group is a footnote which explains what I was aiming for with those names.

Flora-Lorraine Gement
Myrtle O'Cactus
Tara Rarium
Callie Brachoa2

Coco Snucifera
Connie Vallaria
Jane Link-Fence
Steph N. Otis3

Pam Danus
Laura Nobilis
Clara Dendrum4

Pearl Lite (or Pearl A'ight)
Rosemary Topiary
Rosa Bus[c]h (and/or Rosa Thorne)
Polly Podium5

Mandy Villa
Carrie Ota
Iris Germanica
Kris Anthemum6

Cathy Ranthus
Patty O'Torch
Gayle Ardia (possibly also Gayle Zania)
Sue Doripsalis7

Stevie Arebaudiana
Anne Thurium
Dionne A. Emuscipula8

Diane Thus
Mama Ilaria
Lana Scaping
Privet Benjamin9

I have no plans to start doing drag myself, but if I were going to, I think I like Coco Snucifera best. Nobody would ever get it, and people would stumble over the pronunication, but that's okay: it'd provide ample opportunities to make coconut jokes, and I'm pretty sure coconut jokes are universally beloved. Plus I think the letter combination "S-N-U" is inherently humorous.

-


1 (At least in the U.S.; I wouldn't be surprised if people outside of the U.S. were unable to watch it, because that seems to happen a lot.)
2Flora Lorraine Gement --> floral arrangement
Myrtle O'Cactus --> Myrtillocactus, a genus of cacti
Tara Rarium --> terrarium
Callie Brachoa --> Calibrachoa, a genus of plants related to petunias
3 Coco Snucifera --> Cocos nucifera, the botanical name for the coconut palm
Connie Vallaria --> Convallaria, the genus of lily of the valley (C. majalis)
Jane Link-Fence --> chain-link fence
Steph N. Otis --> Stephanotis, a genus of tropical plants which includes Madagascar jasmine (S. floribunda)
4 Pam Danus --> Pandanus, a genus of plants commonly referred to as "screw pines"
Laura Nobilis --> Laurus nobilis, the botanical name for the bay tree
Clara Dendrum --> Clerodendrum, a genus of mostly-tropical flowering plants which includes C. thomsoniae (glory bower, or bleeding-heart vine)
5 Pearl Lite --> perlite, an expanded volcanic rock often added to potting soil
Rosemary Topiary --> a rosemary (Rosmarinus officinalis) topiary
Rosa Bus[c]h (and/or Rosa Thorne) --> rosebush, rose thorn
Polly Podium --> Polypodium, a genus of mostly-tropical ferns
6 Mandy Villa --> Mandevilla, a genus of flowers; the tropical vining species and their hybrids are cultivated for their large, white, pink, or red, trumpet-shaped flowers
Carrie Ota --> Caryota, a genus of palms ("fishtail palms")
Iris Germanica --> Iris germanica, a hybrid iris from which most garden irises are derived
Kris Anthemum --> chrysanthemum, the perennial garden plant cultivated for its flowers
7 Cathy Ranthus --> Catharanthus, a genus of flowering plants; C. roseus is widely cultivated for its flowers
Patty O'Torch --> patio torch
Gayle Ardia (possibly also Gayle Zania) --> Gaillardia and Gazania, both cultivated for their showy, daisy-like flowers
Sue Doripsalis --> Pseudorhipsalis, a genus of epiphytic cacti
8 Stevie Arebaudiana --> Stevia rebaudiana, a plant with sweet-tasting leaves which are used by some as a sugar substitute
Anne Thurium --> Anthurium, a genus of tropical plants; some are cultivated for the large, colorful inflorescences
Dionne A. Emuscipula --> Dionaea muscipula, the venus flytrap
9 Diane Thus --> Dianthus, a genus of flowering plants including the carnation
Mama Ilaria --> Mammillaria, a genus of cacti
Lana Scaping --> landscaping
Privet Benjamin --> Private Benjamin, a 1980 film starring Goldie Hawn in which she joins the army, or the TV show based on the film (1981-83), plus the common hedge privet (genus Ligustrum)


8 comments:

Kenneth Moore said...

Perhaps less genus-oriented than your plant-related drag queen names, I almost checked out Hedda Lettuce's performance in New York City when I was there a year or so ago. There's surprisingly little going on in that town around Christmas, but we ended up going to an Upright Citizens Brigade show instead.

Diana said...

I'm stealing Anne Thurium for all of those "discount cards" where they want your name, address and phone number so they can badger you with advertising (and keep track of your spending habits)!

College Gardener said...

I love these, and whole-heartedly agree that S-N-U is inherently funny... :)

Pat said...

Have you seen Lily Savage, now sadly retired?

Glad E. Olus

Marge Urum

Fi Nix (a very good date)

Vera Aloe

Selena Stemon (real name Cole Yus, changes her stage name regularly to avoid her police record catching up with her)

Chloe Rofitum, the Spiderplantwoman

Cordy Line (an acceptable abbreviation for Cordelia since Buffy, I assume?)

Callie Mondin

Wanda Ringjew

Those beautiful Venezuelans, Paz y Flora Cockinere the filthiest drag twin act you have ever seen.

Laura Sazorica works a bit better than Ms Nobilis, I think. Very exotic.

nycguy said...

A long time ago, a Chinese-American in San Francisco registered the hybrid Masdevallia Rice Queen with the Orchid Society, in honor of all the Anglos who had pursued him over the years.

NellJean said...

Laura Pedlum is the misnomer most often hit on my blog. Lorapetalum. I'm thinking of applying for the trade mark.

Dennis said...

Mamma Ilaria had me in stitches. Or should I say, glochids?

Amy said...

Carissa macrocarpa