Pretty pictures: Odontocidium Sunlight 'Pacific Sunset'

Odontocidium Sunlight 'Pacific Sunset' = Oncidium Mexico × Odontocidium Crowborough, though the orchid registry online doesn't know of the cross, so it's not clear how official this is.

Random plant event: Codonanthe serrulata

Still working on the Leuchtenbergia profile; things keep coming up and preventing me from getting as far on it as I would like. I'm hoping to finish by the end of this week.

Meanwhile, I felt bad for going so long between posts, so there's this.

I've had Codonanthe serrulata since May 2011, when I got three cuttings from a reader.

It didn't look particularly promising. And it's still not my most impressive plant or anything, but it hasn't died, which is more than I can say for some gesneriads. So whatever. In any case, I had it under lights originally, but it was relocated to the plant room at some point in the last year, and it got a little bit of sun in the new location. In early August, I noticed that there was a single flower bud on it --

9 August 2013.
-- which opened into an actual flower a few days later, as flower buds often will.

12 August 2013.

I only got the one single flower, which is a little disappointing, but I suppose it's an improvement on the zero flowers the year before. So I shouldn't complain. Maybe next year, if it isn't dead, there'll be two flowers? Stranger things have happened.

Anyway. Back to the profile mines for me, I guess. Just letting you know I'm still alive and everything. Plus I'd intended to blog about this anyway.

UPDATE: The Leuchtenbergia principis profile has since happened.

Pretty pictures: Ascocenda Princess Mikasa

Yeah, okay, so clearly the Leuchtenbergia profile didn't happen yesterday, either. Whoops. I've been trying to take yearbook pictures this week, which involves lots of sweating and lifting. And then it got cold at night on Monday and Tuesday so I had to move some plants inside for the evening and then back out again in the morning, which also involved some sweating and lifting. And then we made a trip into Iowa City, during which I basically just sat in a hot car for three hours, which was much lighter on the lifting, but there was serious sweating. So my point is that I've been exhausted, and maybe even a bit dehydrated.

Rest assured that the profile is still going to happen, just as soon as I can, but I'm juggling a lot of things at once so it's probably not going to happen as soon as either of us would prefer.

Meanwhile: an orchid. The background was unfortunate, and confused my camera, but it's lovely all the same.

Ascocenda Princess Mikasa = Ascocenda Royal Sapphire x Vanda coerulea)

UPDATE: The Leuchtenbergia principis profile has since happened.

Random plant events: Anthurium seedlings #59 and #282

Thanks to the generosity of four readers, I now have enough money to buy an entire used computer, and get most of a dental checkup/cleaning. So that's good. (More than just "good," really -- both of those things have been nagging small worries in the back of my mind for a long time, then in the last month or so became screaming huge worries directly in front of my face, so that's a couple fewer things to have to worry about.)

Ordinarily this would call for Gazania photos, Gazanias being the official PATSP flower of celebrations, but I have somehow neglected to take any since the last time there was something to celebrate, so we're going to make do with a double random plant event instead. Which is that two of the Anthurium seedlings really and truly have produced flowers. I've been fooled before, but this time it's real.

Anthurium seedling #59 ("Bijoux Tuit").

Anthurium seedling #282 ("Dave Trading")
These pictures are a week or two old, because the whole computer-memory issue makes it difficult to upload new pictures, but by now, the flower on #59 ("Bijoux Tuit") is unambiguously a flower, even if the spathe hasn't completely unfurled yet. #282 ("Dave Trading") looks about the same as its picture, so there's still a possibility that I'm misinterpreting something, but I think it's just slower than Bijoux.

I wasn't expecting flowers this soon. Bijoux is only a year and a half old (seed started on 1 February 2012), and Dave is just barely over a year (19 May 2012); most of the information I've run into on-line said I wouldn't see flowers for three years, at the earliest, and maybe I would have to wait five.

I also had kind of hoped that the colors would be different -- they're both basically the same red-pink as 'Gemini.' Bijoux's mother was 'Gemini,' and she looks just like 'Gemini,' from what I've seen so far. Dave's mom was 'White Gemini,' which has white spathes, but 'White Gemini' is a sport of 'Gemini,' hence the name, so it's maybe not surprising that Dave comes out looking like 'Gemini.' Plus it's totally possible that Dave's dad is 'Gemini.' Whenever I see one of the plants shedding pollen, I just kind of randomly go around smearing pollen on every spadix I see, because it's a pretty rare event for one plant to be shedding pollen while another is receptive, and if pollination did take place, it's usually several weeks before it's obvious, so I never know the male parentage for any of these seedlings.

Now that Bijoux and Dave have demonstrated that it's possible, we may be seeing a lot more flowers on the Anthurium seedlings. If so, I hope they start changing up the colors -- if I remember correctly, about 80% of the seedlings are from either 'Gemini' or 'White Gemini,' so it'll be really boring if they all produce identical spathes. But we'll see how it goes. I've got a good feeling about #202 ("Mason Pepperspray") and #46 ("Aurora Boreanaz"): they've both done well enough so far to get moved to 4-inch (10 cm) pots, and their mother is the NOID purple-blooming one.

This is not the special post.

In my previous post, I said would not be posting over the weekend, because I was trying to get a special post ready for today.

But I have failed.

Some of the problem is that I have almost filled up the memory of my eleven-year-old computer (37.2 GB capacity, 1.51 GB remaining), which makes photo-editing more complicated and time-consuming, for reasons I predict you will not care about. The Iowa City area is pretty much awash in used computers, and I could get a much better one for about $150-200, but at the moment, the money available for this is . . . less than that. So if you've got a large pile of money somewhere, and rolling around naked in it just isn't as exciting as it used to be, and you feel like me having a new (used) computer would make the world a better place, there's a PayPal donation button at the top of the sidebar, on your right, and this would be a better-than-usual time for you to use it.^{1, 2}

Meanwhile, I will keep working on the post. Here's a hint about its topic and format:

I'm thinking maybe Thursday?

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¹ And obviously if you don't have a large pile of money, or rolling naked in it is still enjoyable, or you feel that I'm more likely to use a new computer for evil than for good, don't worry about it. It's not life or death.
² Funds collected in excess of what I need to get a computer (if any) will go toward: getting my teeth cleaned for the first time in about ten years (which is going to happen whether I can pay for it or not, damn it), a new camera, and potting soil, in approximately that order. The actual sequence will depend on how soon I need potting soil again.

Pretty picture: Phragmipedium Belle Hougue Point

The International Orchid Register website and Google don't agree on the spelling here; Google says it's Belle Hogue Point, and the register says Hougue.

So of course the tag at the show said something that wasn't either of those options. ("Belle House Point") I went with the IOR version, on the theory that they're more likely to proofread. (If not, please don't tell me.)

Phragmipedium Belle [Something] Point = Phragmipedium Eric Young x Phragmipedium caudatum.

In site news, I'm going to stop posting briefly (I hope briefly) because I'm planning a special post for Monday, and so far, it's been tough to find time to get it ready. We'll see how it goes.

Random plant event: Hoya carnosa

I have had at least one Hoya carnosa at all times, for the last seven years. My best guess is that I was averaging about three or four at any moment; the current count is five. In all twenty-five(-ish) of those accumulated Hoya-carnosa-years, not once has any of them ever attempted to bloom. H. lacunosa, sure, all the time. H. bella, quite a bit lately. But never H. carnosa.

Until now.

Which, we'll see if it's sincere about this; you know what happened with the Phalaenopsis.¹

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¹ Yes, I know the Phalaenopsis could still produce some flowers, and that whatever happened to it was probably my fault even if I don't remember it happening. You'll understand if I'm not holding my breath in anticipation, though.

Six Plants I'm Currently Mad At

This turns out to be a pretty competitive field (wait'll you see the Dishonorable Mentions), but I've narrowed it down to six. By "I'm Currently Mad At," I mean "the idea of throwing the plant away entirely and never attempting it again has crossed my mind," though that's only a serious possibility with three of the six plants on the list.

1. Phalaenopsis NOID
I am so tired of orchids and all their fucking orchid bullshit. I'm not even exaggerating for comic effect. I know I've said this before, but this time I'm telling you -- I'm telling you -- orchids and I are never ever getting back together.¹ Remember how cautiously excited I was two months ago?

Yes, well. I really should have known better. Here it is now:

And here's the end of the spike:

Yep. Just fell right off, the whole top of the spike, including all the flower buds. I have no idea what happened to it -- it's conceivable that the top of the spike got caught in the shelves when I took the plant off to water or something, but I feel like I would have remembered that. It can't really have been chewed off by an animal -- Sheba would have said something. So I'm thinking it just dropped the top of the flower spike as a way of giving me the finger, because it's an orchid, and orchids are fucking assholes.

The Phalaenopsis is being permitted to stay, for the time being, but the very first excuse I have to throw it out, it's going out. (Even if it calls me up and it's like, "I still love you.")


2. Furcraea foetida 'Medio-Picta'
If my fury at the Phalaenopsis is white-hot,² then with Furcraea I'm only a dull red. The plant's done well outside this year, and has grown some really nice, broad leaves, enough that I'm thinking the current pot is probably way too small for it. And for most of the summer, this was making me happy.

But I found a scale insect on it a week or two ago. So far, it's just been the one, and I did give the plant a pretty thorough inspection so that might be the extent of it, but what are the odds that it's really only one scale insect? Is it ever just one?

Et tu, Furcraea?


3. Polyscias balfouriana (variegated)
The Phalaenopsis is being spiteful, the Furcraea is disloyal, and the Polyscias balfouriana is catatonic. It's never been one of my best plants or anything, but when I got it, in July 2010, it looked like this:

And now, after growing for three years, one of the plants in the original pot has died,³ and the other looks like this:

Weak stem (it periodically leans over enough to throw itself off the shelf it lives on), not much foliage (that's actually the most it's had in a very long time, in that picture), regular spider mite infestations, which it passes to other plants -- P. balfouriana is another one that's probably going in the trash as soon as I have any kind of excuse. Considering its history, I should maybe not wait for an excuse.


4. Synadenium grantii
It was bad enough that Synadenium grantii caught the fungus that's been infecting all the Euphorbias.⁴ I moved it outside, in the hope that this would help it shake the fungus, and that actually seems to have worked.⁵ The problem is that it's not happy with being outside, either. Although when I did the research for the Synadenium profile, I found information telling me that they could survive temperatures down to about 20F / -7C, leaf damage apparently begins somewhere in the high 50s F, or about 14C, and takes the form of broad tan patches on exposed leaves:

I suppose this is my own fault, for not figuring out sooner that I was seeing cold damage. (I'd thought it was sunburn.) The plant could maybe have explained itself better, though.


5. Eucharis grandiflora
So I have three pots of Eucharis now. The one that's stayed in the house is doing fine. Not blooming or anything, but it's doing fine. The two that are getting to summer outdoors, on the other hand, started looking really ratty almost as soon as they went out. Well, I thought, that's to be expected -- probably it's a combination of sunburn and getting thrashed around by the wind. The replacement leaves will be better. But the replacement leaves were not better. And then, one day, I lifted up one of the pots for some reason and there was this fat, gray-green caterpillar underneath it. I picked it up and flung it into the yard, hoping the birds would deal with it. Then a few days later, I was watering, and I saw a similar-looking caterpillar, curled up, floating in the water inside the pot. So I picked it up and threw it out onto the driveway (figuring that the birds would be quicker to spot it on concrete than they would on grass). I haven't seen any caterpillars since then, but it almost doesn't matter: the replacement leaves are coming in slowly, and the older leaves are trashed almost beyond recognition. So the Eucharis won't be going outside next year either, even if they beg and plead and claim that that's the only way they'll ever flower.

The plants that got to go outside have, as a group, been very resistant to bugs -- the only other cases of visible insect damage outside have happened on two Agaves, and I think are also caterpillar-related. But the Eucharis have taken a real beating. Makes me unhappy.

The only positive note is that I have finally achieved houseplant pest bingo. (That'll teach me not to hope publicly for caterpillar infestations, even in jest.)


6. Epipremnum aureum 'Neon' and 'Marble Queen'
Lastly: I can grow Epipremnum aureum varieties just fine, beautifully even, so long as I avoid anything that they might interpret as transplanting.

Which is to say, I've had no problems water-rooting cuttings. But when I put the rooted cuttings into soil, I lose about two-thirds of them. Every single time, no exceptions. Soil-rooting cuttings is a little better, but even then, I lose about half. And repotting is a disaster every single time, no exceptions. (You'd think I would learn.)

'Neon' and 'Marble Queen' made the list because I've tried to root cuttings of 'Marble Queen,' and I've tried to repot 'Neon,' and both have been calamitous. Here's what 'Neon' looked like before the repotting:

And after repotting, removal of obviously dead vines, and cutting a few back in hopes that they'd resprout:

What did I do wrong? I have no idea. It certainly seemed like repotting was warranted: the plant was always wilted when its turn for water came around, sometimes badly, and it was dropping leaves as a result. Giving it more soil, to keep it wetter longer, seemed the logical solution. But instead, the plant punishes me by committing suicide. What a dick.

I don't have a photo for the 'Marble Queen' cuttings, but you'll have to just trust me that they look even worse. Everybody else in the entire world can do anything they like to this plant and it's fine, but -- I don't think it's for me.

So . . . yeah.

I'll have a post later, about plants that aren't making me angry, but I feel it's important for houseplant "experts"⁶ to acknowledge that there is no level of horticultural skill that will completely prevent plants from being douchebags.


Dishonorable mentions:

• Aloe variegata: overwatered, root rot. Still around. Unlikely to try again.
• Anthurium crystallinum 'Mehani:' never did very well here, probably due to dryer and cooler air than it would have liked. Was doing even less well this year, which I suspect might have been related to soil breakdown. Discarded. Almost certainly will never try again.
• Araucaria heterophylla (or maybe A. columnaris): root rot and massive branch drop because I overpotted last winter. Discarded. (This one was really painful: I'd had the plant for five and a half years.) I'll probably try it again.
• Begonia 'Puffy Clouds:' too much direct sun and/or too hot? Discarded. Unlikely to try again.
• Columnea microphylla: sudden decline for no discernable reason. Discarded. Unlikely to try again.
• Cyanotis kewensis: stem dieback, possibly due to underwatering. Still around.
• Episcia 'Pink Smoke:' Never did well. Discarded. Unlikely to try again.
• Episcia "prayer plant:" too wet, too dry, or possibly both at once. Still around. Will probably restart from cuttings.
• Episcia 'Suomi:' slow steady decline that turned into a fast and ever-accelerating decline; reason unknown. (I'm getting pretty fed up with Episcias.) Still around, but only barely. Will probably allow to remain until it dies and then not try it again.
• Euphorbia milii hybrid with large yellow flowers: I cannot make the fungus go away on the small specimen (indoors); the large specimen got blown over repeatedly so the leaves are all creased/torn/punctured/scarred. Still around.
• Euphorbia pseudocactus: one tall stem turned brown and rotted away for no obvious reason very early in the summer. A second big tall new branch started growing after that. It managed to hold itself erect for about a week, then flopped over, and has been growing more or less horizontally ever since. The rest of the plant isn't doing anything and never really has. Still around.
• Euphorbia tirucalli 'Firesticks:' tried to blind me that one time. Still around.
• Euphorbia trigona: I cannot get rid of the fungus on the cuttings in the basement, though the parents, outdoors, are doing okay. Still around.
• Euphorbia trigona 'Red:' I cannot get rid of the fungus, but also the parent plants won't branch and sometimes get root rot. Still around.
• Ficus 'Green Island:' sort of continuously dropping leaves, whether in or outside. Refuses to grow vertically. Still around.
• Gasteraloe 'Green Gold:' definite severe root rot, due to overwatering. Still around, but unlikely to make it back into the house this fall. Unlikely to try again.
• Gasteraloe 'Midnight:' has never liked me very much. Probably some root rot. Almost certainly will never try again.
• Homalomena 'Emerald Gem:' both under- and overwatered, leading to substantial defoliation. And then the bugs (spider mite-like, but I was never sure if they really were spider mites) showed up. Discarded. I'm not desperate to replace it, but I might at some point, if I see one cheap.
• Kohleria 'Queen Victoria:' (chronically?) miswatered. Discarded. Pretty much certain never to try again.
• Neoregelia 'Fireball:' never rebounded from a repotting several years ago; I don't know what its problem was. Discarded. Unlikely to try again.
• Pereskia aculeata var. godseffiana: scale. Discarded. I still have a back-up plant.
• Philodendron erubescens 'Red Emerald:' small, weak growth for about a year, year and a half now. Lots of leaf drop. Still around.
• Schefflera actinophylla: has not performed well outdoors. A tremendous amount of leaf drop, poor color, gets blown over a lot by the wind. Still around. I'll keep growing it, probably, but it's not going outside again next summer.
• Selenicereus anthonyanus: does not appear to understand how to grow the long, weird stems that are the main reason to grow it. I don't know why it won't and S. chrysocardium will. Still around.
• Vriesea splendens: flowered, then started to produce a replacement rosette, but the replacement rosette is really struggling for no obvious reason. Still around, but I suspect its days are numbered. The smaller duplicate plant rotted out and died last March.
• Zamioculcas zamiifolia: another one like Epipremnum aureum, that does beautifully until I try to pot it up, at which point it begins falling apart. A less water-retentive potting mix might help, but I'm more inclined to just let it die and never attempt to grow it again: I don't especially like the look of it in the first place. (The leaflet cuttings of 'Zamicro' are doing fine, but I haven't tried to repot them, either. Maybe I never will.)

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¹ Unless it's one of the blue-dyed Phalaenopsis, because I have a theory about the identity of the blue dye that I'd like to test. So I might buy one of those, but only so that I could grind up the flowers in a mortar and pestle and perform science experiments on them. Which would actually probably be kind of cathartic.
Also: sorry for the earworm. I couldn't resist.
² Probably more blue-hot, I think. (I feel like most of the energy being given off by my fury is being emitted in the ultraviolet / soft x-ray range.)
³ (I cut it back because it was hitting the lights and scorching, but it didn't resprout. I kept hoping, because the stem was staying firm, even if it wasn't producing a new growing tip, but eventually it went soft and I pulled it out of the pot.)
⁴ Synadenium grantii is officially Euphorbia umbellata, according to Plant List. The name I learned before that was Euphorbia pseudograntii. I'm sticking with the name I learned originally, partly because the taxonomists don't seem to have made up their collective mind yet, and partly because if I do decide to change it, there's a whole lot of blog posts that'll need to be edited too, and I would prefer not to do that.
⁵ It worked better on some species than others. E. lactea and E. tirucalli cleared up pretty quickly but weren't that bad off in the first place; Euphorbia milii and Synadenium grantii had pretty serious problems but improved after a few weeks. E. trigona took most of the summer to get there, but is good at the moment, as far as I can see. Pedilanthus 'Jurassic Park 2' may never shake the fungus.
⁶ (a designation I'm not happy seeing applied to myself, by the way)