Rerun: LOL Cactaceae

This was the hiatus announcement photo two years ago. Every year, I intend to do another one -- last year was going to be the bromeliad family (Bromeliaceae), but I didn't have a good place to set up for the photo, and wasn't sure what I'd do to make them festive (having done bows already, in 2008). This year, it was going to be the fig/mulberry family (Moraceae), and we had the decoration part of it covered, because we threw lights on the giant Ficus benjamina. But, the lights are "white" LEDs, and actually photograph kind of blue,¹ and not particularly clearly, and we don't have lights for all the Ficuses in the house, and so it was just not possible this year. Again. Even though I'd started thinking about it in, like, September.

Therefore, a repeat.

Back row, L-R: Schlumbergera x buckleyi, Pachycereus marginatus, Echinocactus grusonii, Pilosocereus pachycladus, Astrophytum ornatum, Myrtillocactus geometrizans, Stenocereus pruinosus.
Middle row: Epiphyllum oxypetallum, Stenocereus thurberi, Isolatocereus dumortieri.
Front row: Cereus peruvianus, Rhipsalis teres var. heteroclada (?), Schlumbergera x 'Caribbean Dancer,' Browningia hertlingiana (?), Leuchtenbergia principis.
For the record, all the plants in the photo are still with me two years later, except for the Schlumbergera x buckleyi, which may or may not be (it was one of four or five plants, of which I still have two: the others have been sold or traded away, and I have no way to know which one was in the photo), and the Echinocereus grusonii, which just couldn't hack the low light, and I couldn't provide it with more light, so I wound up throwing it away in May. All the rest are still here, and a few of them are doing so well lately that you'd hardly recognize them, even. So.

Unlike in 2010, this isn't a hiatus announcement: there will be an orchid on Christmas. I just don't really have anything very interesting happening with the plants right now, so this was the best I could come up with for a blog post.

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¹Though it sort of coordinates nicely with the new blog colors:

List: Plants Which Someone on the Internet has Said Bring Bad Luck

Someone visited PATSP last week via a Google search for "is euphorbia milii a bad luck plant," or something to that effect. Which is interesting. So I googled it myself, which brought me to this page, in which the author had received a question from someone wanting to know if her mother's recurrent, advanced cancer was related to the E. milii plants she'd grown "multiple varieties" of, and if so, whether she should destroy the plants.

Euphorbia milii.
So far, so heartbreaking, but the post attracted a comment confirming that the plant was terrible, and harbored bad spirits, and would kill entire families given half a chance to do so, as demonstrated by the sad (unconfirmable) case of someone (no name given) in the Middle East (country unspecified) who owned one, whose entire family died (by unspecified means), so then he was going to destroy the plant (because somehow he knew the plant was responsible?), but then another guy (likewise unnamed) saw the plant before it was destroyed and took a piece of it home with him to the Philippines. At which point the anecdote stopped because the comment-writer got distracted or something, but I assume s/he was going to go on to say that that person's whole family died horribly as well: s/he was very clear that E. milii was a bad, terrible, no good, evil, dangerous plant which should be eradicated from the face of the earth.¹

Which is of course makes the situation that much worse, because now not only did the original questioner's mother have recurrent, advanced cancer, but I'm guessing her daughter also probably collected and destroyed her Euphorbia milii collection, which for all we know had been the woman's pride and joy for years.²

As if the plants were going to give her cancer again.

I did leave a comment, but I was about two years too late.

*sigh*

So that got me thinking about the concept of "bad luck" plants in general. I'd never heard of Euphorbia milii being bad luck before, much less harboring evil spirits, so I figured there were probably lots of other so-called "bad luck" plants I'd just not heard of before. So I googled. And boy, are there.

But first, let me just say -- the below is mostly pharmaceutical-grade bullshit. Plants don't contain or attract evil spirits; you're not going to change your life by buying, rearranging, or discarding them; they don't bring good or bad luck. Good stuff happens. Bad stuff happens. Because the good and bad stuff happens randomly, some people get more of it than others, but that doesn't have anything to do with what plants people grow. I mean, if having lucky bamboo nearby were actually lucky, then the people of Cameroon, where D. sanderiana is native, would be the wealthiest, happiest, longest-lived people in the world, yes? And yet.³

As has always been the case, the way to live a life of minimal unpleasantness is to be rich and powerful or related to someone who is. The plants you grow or don't grow are really not factors. (And anyway, if you're going to avoid everything on this list, you may as well just give up trying to grow plants, period.)

I've linked the sources for the various claims of bad luck, and either quoted or summarized the relevant parts. All quotations are [sic]. Sometimes I've added my own comments to the end.

Chlorophytum comosum.
(link)"Am I the only who has herd this one before? If you own a spider plant you will be cursed with bad luck. So anyone herd this old tale or know someone who owned the plant and had bad luck until getting rid of it? Odd I can't seem to find anything online about the topic but I herd it from someone so I wondered what you all thought." (-PillsburyDoughboy)
My comment: the general consensus from the people who replied was that either 1) they're not bad luck, or 2) that they might be, but everybody really hoped they weren't.⁴


Hedera helix
(link)Summary: ivy is bad luck inside but good outside. It's particularly bad to give it to someone who is ill.

(link⁵)My recollection is that this also said basically that ivy was bad luck inside the home.

(link)Summary: unlucky as a gift, "a person who grows ivy will always be poor," only permissible indoors as Christmas decoration.
My comment: you may as well go ahead and take this as true, because Hedera are often lousy houseplants. It's not that they're unlucky, just that they're unsuited to indoor cultivation unless you have a cool, bright, moist home, which few of us do.


Aloe vera
(link)"Some say that its bad luck to grow aloe vera plant at home, is it true?" (-ahelas_123)
My comment: the few people who replied said no, not bad luck.


Any and all thorny/spiky plants, especially cacti (probably also includes Pachypodium, Agaves, most Euphorbias, Pandanus veitchii, and pretty much anything else that could be worth growing). Shown: unidentified cactus.
(link)Summary: thorny plants shouldn't go inside the home or close to one's front door, but you can plant as many as you like outside the house.

(link)Summary: Friends of the author's suffered terrible catastrophes (unspecified) after putting cactus plants on their windowsills, because cacti send out "little slivers of bad energy" which accumulate like dust bunnies until something bad happens.⁶ Then the friends took the cacti away and the bad things stopped happening.

(link)"many people say that cactuses are bad luck especially if you place it inside your home, but i don't believe in that stupid idea, whoever said that, well i'm so sorry but i really don't believe you... I really love plants, i have my collection of cactuses at home, i just love them, they're very nice to look at..." (-Cosepqueenie)
My comment: replies amounted to one person saying "well, you don't have to believe it, sweetie" and two bits of spam.

(link)Summary: cacti are specifically believed to be bad luck in Hungary, apparently.


Bonsai specimens (Juniperus, Acer, etc.). Shown: Juniperus sp.
(link)Summary: bonsai represent stunted growth and thereby make for bad symbolism. Or something.


"Overgrown" plants (?). Shown: Pilea depressa.
(link)Summary: they give off bad vibes.⁷


Murraya paniculata.
(link)"The Murraya is a silent, slow killer. Those flu symptoms that you have been experiencing are thanks to the innocent looking orange jasmine. Get rid of it NOW or face a lifetime of illness." (Anonymous PATSP commenter, whose family is apparently allergic to the plant, which is a very different thing from the plant being a "silent, slow killer."⁸)


Cordyline fruticosa, red cvv.
(link)"Some people believe red ti plant invites bad luck."
My comment: the page also says that "Hawaiians think this plant is a charm against evil," which means that whether good things or bad things happen to you after buying a red ti plant, the page predicted that it would happen.

(link)Summary: Cordyline is a low-maintenance and colorful plant which is often grown in Singaporean cemeteries, because it's low-maintenance and colorful. Consequently, people believe it to be bad luck, because if it isn't bad luck then what's it doing in all those cemeteries, with the dead people?




Codiaeum variegatum (croton).
(link)Summary: Same as for Cordyline fruticosa: it's bad because it's grown in cemeteries; it's grown in cemeteries because it doesn't need a lot of tending.


Epipremnum aureum (pothos).
(link)Summary: [every bad thing that's happened to five (?) different families over a period of several years] (-tablariddim)
The original questioner hasn't considered the possibility that bad things often happen in close proximity to pothos because everyfuckingbody has a pothos.


Night-blooming / night-fragrant plants, especially those with white flowers and/or heavy fragrance, e.g. Cereus peruvianus, Epiphyllum cvv., Cestrum nocturnum, Hoyas, Sansevieria trifasciata?, Peniocereus greggii. Shown: Hoya lacunosa.
(link)Summary: Night-blooming plants are unlucky because in some cultures, suddenly detecting a flower's scent indicates the presence of spirits nearby. (See Musa and Ensete spp. below.) Also white is the color of death and mourning in these cultures too, so the fact that many night-opening flowers are also white just makes them that much scarier.
My comment: night-blooming flowers do tend to be fragrant or white or both, because both qualities make it easier for nocturnal pollinators to locate the flower.


Musa and Ensete spp. (bananas), Plumeria spp. (frangipani). Shown: Musa NOID.
(link)Summary: Banana trees are believed to contain spirits called "Pontianaks" who are the ghosts of women who died in childbirth. Pontianaks appear in the form of beautiful women, "dig into the . . . stomach with long sharp fingernails," and eat "it" (presumably the stomach?). They also attack pregnant women, and announce their presence by the smell of jasmine or Plumeria, followed by a horrible stench. A pontianak can be controlled by tying a red thread around a banana tree and tying the other end to the foot of one's bed; it then has to do the bidding of whoever tied the thread or whoever sleeps in the bed or something like that. (Site wasn't specific.)


Chrysanthemum cvv. Shown: Chrysanthemum NOID.
(link)Summary: Thought to attract the ghost of Okiku, who cries a lot, for reasons which vary according to the version of the story being told.

(link)Summary: bad luck because of its association with funerals.


Bamboo varieties. Shown: Pogonantherum paniceum.
(link)Summary: Contain evil spirits and/or ghosts.


Plumeria cvv. (frangipani)
(link)Summary: the Thai word for Plumeria means sadness, so obviously it's bad luck. It's believed to house the ghosts of evil people. Plus there's the whole thing about smelling the fragrance when a pontianak is nearby.


Tradescantia zebrina cvv. (wandering jew)
(link)Summary: the unluckiness of wandering jew is apparently a long-standing superstition in the U.S., though I'd never heard of it.⁹


Drosera spp.
(link)Summary: Not a lot of information to go on, but is apparently unlucky for sheep in particular?


Any plant that blooms out of season. Shown: Aechmea fasciata.
(link)Summary: plants blooming out of season were thought to be "touched by the devil."
I assume this would apply to plants that were chemically induced to bloom, so most store-bought Spathiphyllums, Schlumbergeras and bromeliads, would probably qualify. Also Euphorbia pulcherrima are usually induced to bloom a bit earlier than they normally would, in order to sell at Christmas, so they'd at least sort of count. (And we all know that poinsettias are touched by the devil regardless.) Probably lots of other things too.

No doubt I've missed some: it's difficult subject matter for a Google search, because one also runs into a lot of pages where people say they have bad luck with this plant or that plant, which is obviously different from having bad luck due to the plant. So let me know if you run into other examples.

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¹ The full comment, copied from the site:

shayne Says:
January 18th, 2010 at 10:58 am

yeah.. its true.. the plant euphorbia is “MALAS”.. it has a bad spirit.. that causes many sickness.. and can cuase death for the whole family who lives in the house with euphorbia plants.. it is proven.. ive searched about this plant.. that is from the middle east.. one man there that owns that plant .. his family was died becauseof that plant.. after of wat happened to his famiy he decided to destroy it. but before he destroy it a seaman saw it and get one of it.. and that seaman brought it in the phillipines.. it is proven that if you have that plant in your house your family will always get sick.. that sometimes causes death for the whole family.. because that plant grows even you dont watered him.. it is beautiful to see.. but it brings badluck to your life.. so if you dont want bad luck happens to you and to your family.. destroy that plant.. and its better to tell it to your other friends about it.. to prevent the growing numbers of that plant.. im juz a concerned citizen.. thats why im telling you this. its all up to you if your going to beleive it..

[sic, obviously]
² (I mean, maybe not, but the plants must have been around for a while: if they were new, it wouldn't make any sense to blame them for the cancer. Not that it makes sense to blame them for the cancer anyway, but you know what I'm saying.)
³ One could make a fairly strong argument that Japanese knotweed -- native to prosperous East Asian countries like Japan, China, and South Korea, widespread and invasive in Europe, the U.S., and Canada -- is one of the most potent good-luck plants in the world, based on the economic situations of the countries where it's found. I mean, it would be extremely irresponsible to make that argument, but some people would find it convincing.
⁴ Tip: if you have to hope that it's not bad luck, because you've had a bunch of them for several years, then it's not. You would obviously notice it, if the bad luck were real. As would everybody else who's grown one.
⁵ This site was down when I was trying to write the post, but it worked when I was searching initially, so I don't know whether you'll be able to get to it or not. My recollection is that it said basically the same thing as snopes.com.)
⁶ I don't believe anyone has ever shown any physical evidence for the existence or accumulation of "energy shards," nor measured the rate at which they accumulate, nor defined the quantity necessary to cause "bad luck," nor explained how removing the source makes them go away. (When you remove a shedding dog from a house, does the accumulated hair disappear from the carpet? No? Then why would removing a plant make the accumulated energy shards disappear?)
Not that one would necessarily expect this to be the sort of detail you'd go into in the sort of breezy, informal book I've linked to, but -- well, that's sort of the problem: the feng shui community doesn't seem to publish anything that isn't breezy and informal.
⁷ (No, really, that's pretty much all it says.)
⁸ Among the differences: if you're allergic to plant X, it does not necessarily follow that all human beings are allergic to plant X. Also -- we've had the plant almost five years now: if it's going to kill us, it's taking its time about it.
⁹ (I suspect that most of these aren't actually believed by very many people, even in their country/region of origin.)

Cactus Abuse

Don't buy your cacti from places that do this:


Yeah, that's about half an inch (1 cm) of water standing in the bottom of a plastic tray that apparently has no drainage holes in it. I've seen the same trays at Home Depot before. I do not understand why anybody thinks this is a good idea. I mean, for fuck's sakes, they're cacti -- they'd need to be watered eventually, but if they have to wait two or three weeks to get it, it's not going to kill them. And not watering at all would be kinder than making them stand in water.

I expect there's a logical reason for this, but I don't care what it is. Don't buy cacti if they're standing in water at the store. It's the only way they'll learn.

Pretty picture: NOID cactus with a big white flower

I spent yesterday repotting. Like, the entire day. A lot of that time was spent just trying to come up with a list of what needed to be repotted in the first place, or what stuff might need to be repotted but would have to be checked first, or what stuff didn't need to be repotted so much as just divided and as long as I was dividing stuff anyway maybe I should take some cuttings of this thing next to it, and so on and so forth. The actual repotting of things only took maybe a couple hours, and when it was all over, I had 21 new plants (divisions and cuttings of things) and about as many old plants in larger pots. Which is great.

Unfortunately, my to-do list was about 150 items long yesterday (truth!), and this barely made a dent. So I am sad.


Anyway. This cactus was sitting around blooming last Friday when I was at the ex-job. I don't know anything about it beyond what you can see from the photos, but the flower is definitely interesting. Not that cactus flowers usually aren't.

Cactus Blindness: Its Causes and Treatment

It's time to admit my shameful secret: I have cactus blindness.

Cactus blindness is one of a number of widespread horticultural learning deficiencies (HLD), resembling (and often overlapping with) other HLDs like fern blindness, shrub blindness (I am also considerably shrub-blind, by the way), and palm blindness. Afflicted individuals are easily able to learn and recall names of different cactus species, but are unable to visually distinguish cacti well enough to apply the names accurately to plant specimens.

Ferocactus latispinus? Not particularly confident, but I didn't see much that was particularly close. Flat, yellow, curved spines don't happen a lot. UPDATE: There appears to be consensus that this is in fact Ferocactus latispinus.
Many causes have been proposed for HLDs, ranging from the socioeconomic (lack of exposure to, or accurate identification of, enough plant species in childhood) to the organic (HLDs sometimes occur following stroke or brain injury in previously unaffected individuals). Though below-average intelligence and sensory impairment may also lead to the inability to distinguish cactus species from one another, persons with these conditions are specifically excluded from the DSM-IV definition of cactus blindness, as they lead to much broader difficulties.

Cactus blindness is also distinct from the condition called cactus alexia: in the latter, species are easily distinguished, but the patient experiences great difficulty in learning the names that go with the plants.

I originally suspected this of being a Pachycereus pringlei, and then for some reason decided that it couldn't be, so I switched to Carnegiea gigantea. Carnegiea is fairly common in cultivation (easy to grow from seed), but it's also incredibly slow-growing, which means that it should cost more than these did. So now I'm leaning back toward Pachycereus pringlei. UPDATE: Could go either way, but the smart money appears to be on Carnegiea gigantea.
I bring this up first of all because of Karen715's brave admission a couple weeks ago that she, too, suffers from cactus blindness. Her courage has given me the strength to admit that I, too, find it extremely difficult to identify many of the specimens I encounter. (It is my hope that we can start a support group or something.)

Stenocereus thurberi. Not particularly certain about this, but it does match: newest spines are dark and become lighter, plus the dark areoles -- if it isn't Stenocactus thurberi, it's something that's fairly indistinguishable from it. Also I kind of want this now. UPDATE: Does in fact appear to be Stenocereus thurberi. Yay me.
Secondly, I recently went back to my former workplace and photographed a few cacti there (bought a couple, too, alas), thinking I could identify them easily and then use the photos for yearbook pictures, and I think I even actually did, with great difficulty and the assistance of the photos at cactiguide.com, identify a couple of them. However, some of them continued to stump me, either because none of the 1257 species represented at cactiguide.com looked like the plant in question, or because far too many of them did for me to be able to pick one. (Some of the more questionable photos I took are decorating this post; I welcome any ID verifications or suggestions anybody wants to throw at me.)

Pachycereus marginatus. I'm just, you know, damn positive that I've got a P. marginatus this time. I had previously reported buying a P. marginatus, which for some reason I really really wanted, but I now think that that plant is probably an Isolatocereus dumortieri instead. So now I have this, which I really think probably is a Pachycereus marginatus. UPDATE: Experts agree.
Treatment of cactus blindness typically falls into one of three types. In conventional cactus blindness therapy (CCBT), CB sufferers are encouraged, with the aid of worksheets, photographs, and (when possible) actual cactus specimens, to describe plants in minute detail, with the aim of training the individual to notice the small distinctions between species. This is essentially the training of afflicted individuals to become cactus taxonomists, and while it has a high success rate (about 80% of subjects will become able to identify at least 100 cactus species with at least 70% accuracy), it also takes a considerable amount of time, and requires the assistance of a qualified trainer at all times. Consequently, it is very expensive, and CCBT-certified trainers may not be found in all areas, though cases are known of people who have taught themselves to overcome cactus blindness through informal CCBT-like methods.

Was tagged as "Lemaireocerous." They probably meant Lemaireocereus, though that still doesn't help, since the genus is now obsolete, and the species in it were distributed across five or six other genera. None of the pictures within those genera at cactiguide.com resemble this as far as I'm concerned, and of course we have no real guarantee that Lemaireocereus was the right ID to begin with. UPDATE: I lean toward the suggestion of Browningia hertlingiana (see comments).
The other treatment approach is known as wholistic cactus blindness therapy, or WCBT. WCBT de-emphasizes verbalization of the distinctions between species and instead focuses its efforts on the subconscious: subjects are presented, repeatedly, with randomized pairs of photos or specimens of cacti, and asked to identify whether they are the same species or different species. This, it is said, trains the mind to identify the relevant details which distinguish one species from another, without the tedious completion of worksheets as in CCBT. WCBT is also easily adapted to computer software, making it considerably more affordable and accessible than other therapies. Critics of WCBT point out that it does little to link the image of a particular cactus species to a species name, and is therefore not particularly useful in fostering cactus-related communication. Many WCBT trainers have responded to this charge by adding an additional four-week program to the end of a course of WCBT specifically for the purpose of linking names to the now-mentally-distinct species in the subject's mind.

NOID cactus #2. Lots of stuff looks sort of like this, but the arrangement of the spines (short ones pointing up, left, and right, plus a long one pointing down) seems like it's trying very hard to mean something. I couldn't find a match, and wasted a really ridiculous amount of time trying. UPDATE: I kind of lean toward Mammillaria winterae, though to be safe I think I'll just go with "Mammillaria sp."
Incremental cactus blindness therapy (ICBT), the newest of the CB therapies to gain acceptance, focuses on learning the distinguishing characteristics of only the most commonly-sold or -observed cacti, and those with the most distinctive appearances (e.g. Astrophytum myriostigma, which is fairly hard to confuse with anything else), slowly expanding the pool of one's knowledge only once the initial easy group have been mastered. Its largest advantage over the other methods is that it is more immediately useful than either CCBT or WCBT, enabling the subject to identify several commonly-encountered cactus species after the very first therapeutic session. ICBT is also somewhat adaptable to computer software and requires considerably less of a therapist than CCBT, making it less expensive and easily available. The main disadvantage of ICBT is that accidental exposure to unknown cactus species can result in the mental assignment of mistaken identities, which are frequently difficult to unlearn later on. ICBT also has a rather steep learning curve, which subjects often find discouraging, leading to a dropout rate more than double that of CCBT or WCBT.

To the best of my knowledge, the above therapies have not been attempted with other varieties of HLDs.

NOID cactus #1. This one makes me kind of crazy: I see it for sale all the time, so you'd think it would be easy to find out what it is, but no. I found plenty of approximate visual matches at cactiguide.com, but nothing I could be positive about. UPDATE: Appears to be Parodia leninghausii.
Personally, I'm working a combination of CCBT and ICBT, on my own, with only the internet to guide me, and if I manage to learn anything I'll let you know. Meanwhile, perhaps we should be looking for some available church basements, or setting up a dedicated CB blog, or something. Who's in?

Mammillaria spinosissima. I'm actually pretty confident about this ID; the coloration is pretty distinctive, and I know it's a fairly popular species ("red-headed Irishman cactus"). (UPDATE: Experts agree.) This is one of the two I went ahead and purchased.

UPDATE: Enormous thanks to Daiv Freeman, Peter Breslin, erin, and CelticRose, for their help and suggestions on the NOIDs in this post, and confirmations on the ones I thought I had right.
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Totally skippable political correctness disclaimer and commentary:

I'm not trying to imply that actual learning disabilities aren't real or shouldn't be taken seriously. They of course are, and should. The targets of ridicule here are more the non-disabled people who patronizingly claim every little obstacle's defeat as being inspiring and courageous than for the people who actually have the disabilities, people who try to make unchosen conditions into something shameful, and my own very real difficulty in distinguishing cacti from one another.

Sometimes overcoming disability / adversity / tragedy actually is courageous, of course, but sometimes one never really gets a choice about whether or not to overcome, and in any case it's kind of a weird thing to take someone who has an unusual life situation and single them out as being even more unusual by waxing poetic about their courage and whatever.

As far as it goes, I also don't mean to suggest that the blind are more disabled than others, by using the word "blindness" as part of the term for my made-up condition. It seemed like a better metaphor than, say, deafness, because people generally look at cacti a lot more than they listen to them.

As I have alluded to before, I don't want PATSP to be accidentally offensive to anybody, of whatever age, gender identity, sexual orientation, degree of disability, country of origin or residence, race, mental illness, etc. I want as much of the offensiveness as possible to be on purpose. At the same time, pretty much any reference to certain of these topics is going to be offensive to somebody, however it's phrased, because minority communities don't ever necessarily agree unanimously on PC language, reclaiming slurs, etc. (There's not even total agreement on whether "the disabled" exist as a group, or, if they do, exactly who belongs in it.) So I figure my choices are to never mention these people at all, effectively "disappearing" minority groups into nonexistence, or mention and try to make clear that I'm doing the best I can not to piss people off through my own privilege as a white, able-bodied, cisgendered, American male. (I've been noticing lately that I tend to assume my readers are U.S. or Canadian residents, in a way which probably marginalizes readers from other countries, and have been trying to think of ways to make that happen less often.) I do actually try to think about these things. Sometimes I don't think hard enough.

If I have expressed myself in a particularly inelegant or ignorant way on the matter, please let me know.