Sunday, June 29, 2008

Plants I Would Like to Exist, Someday

Glechoma rosea

This post was very probably prompted by Amy Stewart's post at Garden Rant about the book Pull Up Your Agapanthus, Your Aster is Showing, and also by the website Curiosities of Biological Nomenclature, but I had already been thinking about plants that should exist but don't. Every once in a while, I'll get something mis-sorted on a spreadsheet (Oh yes. There are spreadsheets.) and find all the botanical names recombined on me, and some of them look like they'd make interesting plants, if only they were real.

So here are a few I came up with. Some of the names are puns, some are just recombinations that were interesting, some are something else entirely. Some of the jokes are a little bit of a reach, or obscure, for which I apologize in advance. Readers are invited to pick a couple and try to picture what the plant would look like. Or suggest your own in the comments. Or pre-order any that you think sound exceptionally interesting. Or throw out some better names for the pictures. Whatever.

Saintpaulia x 'Minneapolis' & Saintpaulia x 'Minnesotia'

Aglaonema purpurea (purpurea = purple)

Echeveria salicornioides (salicornioides = like a [weeping] willow)

Aglaonema purpurea 'Purple Jesus'

Ludisia giganteum (giganteum = giant)

Sutera cordata 'Cabana' (actually does exist, but I thought of the name before I knew that)

Araucaria spheroides (spheroides = like a sphere)

Tradescantia cerulea variegata

Spathiphyllum rubrum (rubrum = dark red)

Dieffenbachia palmata (palmata = hand-shaped)

Dahlia x 'Barbie' & Dahlia x 'Ken'

Neoregelia x 'Bjorkia'

Guzmania canadiensis (canadiensis = Canadian)

Euphorbia cordatum (cordatum = heart-shaped)

Hoya x 'Ahoy'

Hoya carnosa 'Kermit'

Dracaena x 'Da Crime'

Anthurium erythroneura (erythroneura = red-veined)

Sedum obama

Ficus maclellandii 'Purple State'

Monstera deliciosa 'Cookie'

Hosta x 'Work Environment'

Calathea asterifolia (asterifolia = star-leaf)

Strelitzia reginae 'Bluebird'

Syngonium alumin[i]um

Maranta leuconeura 'Carmen'

Epipremnum quadrangularis (quadrangularis = rectangular, four-sided)

Clematis x 'Kathy Griffin'

Philodendron bonjovii

Portulaca x 'Chewbacca'

Dracaena scandens (scandens = trailing)

Tillandsia lavendula

Schefflera albolineata (albolineata = white lined)

Dracaena marginata 'Gothic'

Beaucarnea hastatum
(hastatum = spear-shaped)

Gerbera jamesonii cv. 'Oceanic'

Pilea ascii

Euphorbia suburbia

Strelitzia maculata (maculata = spotted)


Photo credits: mostly my original photos (except for Hoya and Strelitzia), inexpertly and hastily recolored with the freeware program Irfanview, which is still the only photo-manipulation software I'm capable of using without getting confused, frustrated, or both.


Anonymous said...

I'll take a Strelitzia reginae 'Bluebird' (gotta love those blue flowers!) and a Dracaena scandens (the mind boggles at the image), please! :)

Fun post! You are so clever!

mr_subjunctive said...

I'm pretty sure I'd be a sucker for a Spathiphyllum rubrum or Anthurium erythroneura. And curiosity would probably convince me to buy a Philodendron bonjovii or Euphorbia cordatum, even if I couldn't see a picture first.

Anonymous said...

Always wanted to see Philadelphus virginalis 'Benjamin Franklin' come into the market......*ahem*
And, my favorite botanical name when studying plant ID in school was (honestly) Brunfelsia pauciflora 'Floribunda.' I have not seen it called so since, now I see it as a B. calycina. But you get my drift. There are some priceless ones already out there, but see if the Shady Deals Nursery website is still around. I don't know if they've changed it for a long while....... But I sure like their description of Hydrangea macrophylla 'Endless Slumber' and Acer grisham, the paperback maple.

Aiyana said...

Very creative post!

Lets Plant said...

I enjoyed your post alot. I wish they would exist too. If they did I would have to have them. Thanks for the smiles!

MrBrownThumb said...

What a cool post. Missed your blog and your sense of humor.

My fave has to be "kermit" up above.

Thanks for the e-mail and comment recently and expressing an interest it means a lot. I'll be back soon!

Han Keat Lim said...

I have just seen a plant that has reminded me this post, because it looks quite like the Aglaonema purpurea 'Purple Jesus' that you mentioned.
It's a Schismatoglottis acuminatissima 'Lavallaei' and is sold commericially under the name Homalomena 'Purple Sword'.
Here is the photo.

Asel Punzalan said...

Great Job.

romitta said...

Beautiful variegated Tradescantia, is your? I would love to have a cutting ... where do you live?

mr_subjunctive said...


None of the plants in the photos actually exist. The colors have been altered.

Wolfgang said...

fake - coloured lighting, white balance and RGB swap.

mr_subjunctive said...


Did you read the comment right above yours?

Or the post's title?

Or the photo credits at the bottom of the post?

Also: no colored lights. Pretty much just RGB --> BGR swaps.