Rumble Among the Jungle, Matches 1.29-1.32

Rules and Stuff
1) It's probably possible to vote more than once per poll, but please don't. If I believe that someone is voting repeatedly, I will throw out those results, repost the poll, and seriously question that person's priorities.
2) If you want to link to a poll on Twitter / Facebook / your blog / whatever and encourage your friends to come and pump up the support for your favorite plants, you are encouraged to do so.
3) You are also encouraged to leave comments on Rumble posts, if so moved.
4) All photos will enlarge if opened in a separate window/tab.
5) You can choose which plant is "best" according to whatever criteria you decide for yourself. My personal process is a bit convoluted.¹
6) All polls will be open for three days.

Results for matches 1.13 to 1.16

The bracket selection was more or less random,² so very similar plants occasionally wound up in competition with one another during the first round. Two such pairings happened in this batch, but y'all appear to have had no difficulty choosing one over the other. Interestingly, the vote proportions wound up being eerily similar for each of the four contests in this set, with the winner getting about 67% of the vote in each case.

Match 1.13 saw Ficus maclellandii beating Schefflera elegantissima easily, 71 to 34, despite both plants having a narrow/pointy/treelike thing going on. I guess this means that some of you have tried to grow S. elegantissima.
In match 1.14, the votes were similar, in favor of Strelitzia nicolai and S. reginae over Guzmania cvv., 69 to 37.

Ficus maclellandii and Strelitzia nicolai/reginae both advance to match 2.7, where they will face off against one another. That won't be posted until October 8, which hopefully will be enough time for me to decide which one to vote for.

Match 1.15 was the other one where I thought maybe the combatants were maybe too similar, both being pretty common vining plants, but you guys chose Philodendron hederaceum cvv. over Syngonium podophyllum cvv. by, again, about a two to one margin (68 to 37).
And finally, in match 1.16, Dracaena fragrans cvv. handily defeated Saxifraga stolonifera, 71 to 36. Except not handily, because they don't have hands. Rootily. Leafily. Something like that.

Philodendron hederaceum cvv. will face Dracaena fragrans cvv. on October 8, in match 2.8, which will also be a difficult one for me to vote on. Maybe I should just not vote that day.

But there are votes to be cast today, so have at 'em:

Match 1.29
Pachira aquatica (money tree) vs. Pilosocereus pachycladus

(Pachira aquatica.)

(Pilosocereus pachycladus.)





Match 1.30
Cordyline fruticosa cvv. (ti plant) vs. Euphorbia lactea cvv.

Clockwise from top left: Cordyline fruticosa 'Florica,' species, NOID, NOID which might be 'Chocolate Queen,' 'Kiwi.'

Clockwise from left: Euphorbia lactea, Euphorbia lactea crest grafted onto a E. drupifera base, crested E. lactea.





Match 1.31
Ravenea rivularis (majesty palm) vs. Mimosa pudica (sensitive plant)

(Both Ravenea rivularis.)

Both Mimosa pudica. Left photo belongs to, and is used with permission from, Liza Wheeler at Good to Grow.





Match 1.32
Hibiscus rosa-sinensis (tropical hibiscus) vs. Dracaena sanderiana (lucky bamboo, ribbon plant)

All unidentified cvv. except left center ('Mrs. Jimmy Spangler') and bottom right ('Sunny Wind').

(Dracaena sanderiana, variegated cv.)





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¹ I'm deciding according to a hypothetical situation in which all of my houseplants are gone, as are all the other houseplants of the world, except for one producer/supplier/retailer. Said person is offering to restock me with one or the other of the plants in question but refuses to give me both. Which one would I choose?
² (I had a list of plants in Excel, created a column of random numbers next to it, then sorted according to the random numbers. I swapped a few plants around after that, if it looked like two plants that would be very popular were facing off against one another in the first round, so the end result is not strictly random, but it's pretty close.)

If You Were a Houseplant, What Kind of Houseplant Would You Be?

Gentle readers:

Just for shiggles, let's ponder the title question.

Obviously human beings' needs for things like water and temperature are going to be pretty similar, and we already know which plants are compatible with regular human environments, because those are the plants we grow indoors, where we live, already. Therefore, we have to resort to metaphor for this.

So what I'm asking everybody to do (if you want) is, evaluate yourselves on a 0-3 scale, as described below, for each of the criteria, and then leave a comment, containing the numbers you come up with for yourself. I'll run your numbers through Excel, match them against the ratings for plants I've already got in the spreadsheet, and then post a list of the three plants with number sets most similar to the set you've given me.¹ You may use any number between 0 and 3 (like, if you're just positive you're a 2.68 on something, the number 2.68 works as well as any other for calculating, so go ahead and tell me 2.68.). If you don't like my metaphors for which personality traits go with which plant-care categories, feel free to make up your own and give me those numbers instead.

Euphorbia grandicornis. An extrovert.
PESTS are obviously other people.
0- People are great. I love meeting new people, and get along with everybody.
1- I like most people, though occasionally I run into someone I can't get along with.
2- I don't work or play well with others, but when I have to, I have to.
3- Other people are constantly getting in my way, being stupid, or otherwise causing me problems, and I wish I didn't have to deal with them.

Pogonantherum paniceum. A hoarder.
Water is sort of raw material for doing anything, for plants. Basically "stuff." So for OVERWATERING, the question is how unsettled you are by having too much stuff, too much clutter, in your life.
0- I'm a hoarder.
1- I keep stuff a lot longer than I need to, and regularly buy stuff for which I have no immediate use.
2- Things occasionally get out of hand, but most of the time I keep my space fairly neat and organized.
3- I can't stand any kind of mess, even in space that doesn't belong to me.

Beaucarnea recurvata. A DIYer/survivalist type.
And for UNDERWATERING, it's about how big of a problem it is for you not to have the things you need.
0- I can make anything I need from scratch using only duct tape and twigs, and sometimes I don't need the twigs.
1- I can usually improvise a bad substitute from something I already have, without having to buy something new.
2- I've been known to waste time going to multiple stores, trying to find something that will work perfectly.
3- I'll drop everything and drive for an hour to get exactly the right item.

Pilosocereus pachycladus. Belongs to Overeaters Anonymous.
LIGHT is basically energy input, for plants, which I think most closely parallels food consumption in humans. So
0- I'm basically anorexic.
1- I eat sensibly, most of the time.
2- I eat more than I ought to.
3- I eat anything that isn't nailed down.

Plectranthus verticillatus. Is basically Michelle Duggar.
For PROPAGATION, you have a choice: you can either treat it pretty literally, about your chances of having actual children, and the number of children, in your lifetime (0-I want to have a house full of kids / 1-definitely want some kids / 2-I might want one kid, someday / 3-I never want to have any children ever, or I can't have any childen ever), or you can be metaphorical:
0- I'm very proud of how much stuff I've accomplished in my life, compared to others my age.
1- There have been some unproductive spells, but I think on balance I've done quite a bit of cool stuff.
2- I could definitely have accomplished more if I'd worked harder, but considering what I had to work with I think I've done a couple worthwhile things.
3- I'm not sure I've ever done anything worthwhile in my life.

Begonia rex-cultorum 'Escargot.' Voted Most Likely To Go Postal.
HUMIDITY . . . I'm going to say stress-management and ability to function under pressure, and/or ability to deal with frustration.
0- I deal exceptionally well with stress most of the time. Other people even compliment me on it and ask what my secret is. I'm thinking I should write a book.
1- I handle certain kinds of stress (like pushy co-workers or intense deadline pressure) very well, and other kinds (like disorganized workspace or lazy co-workers) not so much.
2- I work okay under moderate amounts of pressure, but fall apart when it goes on for a long time without a break/vacation or when I'm being asked to perform an exceptionally impossible task.
3- The slightest little thing will make me stress out to the point of being completely unable to function.

Homalomena 'Emerald Gem.' "I CAN'T RUSH MY PROCESS, MAN!"
TEMPERATURE is a toughie, but I'm thinking it has to do with the intensity of daily activity, kinda. Since the meaning as it applies to plants has to do with the allowable range of temperatures, this is basically a measurement of how flexible you can be.
0- Whenever and however you want it, that's when I'll get it to you.
1- It's nice to have a little advance warning about things, but basically I can work at whatever speed is necessary without getting stressed about it.
2- I need to know pretty specifically what you want and how soon you want it, and depending on your deadlines I may or may not be able to get it to you.
3- I am no good with other people's deadlines. I have to work at my own pace, which is sometimes superfast and sometimes superslow, but I can't be rushed to do things faster, and I can't wait around for someone else's input once I'm ready to go.

Zamioculcas zamiifolia. Married, 2.5 kids, lives in suburbs.
GROOMING usually works out in the plant profiles as having special circumstances or quirks of care that aren't covered under one of the other categories but make the plant more difficult. So metaphorically, if your life is unusual in some way, compared to the average person in your country, because of who you are (disabled, gay, famous, independently wealthy, mentally ill), where you live (hippie commune, military, expat), or some other way that creates challenges for you that other people don't have or appreciate (self-employed, caring for a relative with special needs, religious minority, group marriage), this is where to note that.
0- I'm painfully ordinary in every possible way.
1- My life is a little weird.
2- I'm kind of a freak.
3- My life circumstances may be entirely unique in the history of the world.

Hibiscus rosa-sinensis. Goes skydiving on weekends.
FEEDING for plants is the input of trace elements, so for people I'm going to say it's about the need for novelty and stimulation, about how bored you get and how easily.
0- I'd be pretty happy to get on a routine that worked for me and stay in that routine until I die, with no changes at all.
1- Having a stable, routine life is definitely important to me, but it's nice to get away and do something different every once in a while.
2- I like to shake things up regularly, so I don't get into a rut.
3- I have to be doing something new constantly -- going new places, learning new things, trying new forms of physical activity -- or I get bored and cranky.

My personal numbers fall out as follows:

PESTS: 2.5
OVERWATER: 1
UNDERWATER: 1
LIGHT: 2
PROPAGATION: 1
HUMIDITY: 2
TEMPERATURE: 2.5
GROOMING: 1.5
FEEDING: 1

My closest match turns out to be Philodendron gloriosum.² I'm the son of a Stromanthe sanguinea (Mom) and a Schefflera actinophylla (Dad),³ and I married a Philodendron 'Xanadu.' (So not only same-sex marriage, but same-metaphorical-genus marriage!)

Moi.
The husband points out that there could be a financial opportunity in this, somewhere. Some kind of horti-horoscopes (Rhapis: your sharp tongue may get you in trouble with your boss today, unless you remember to think before you speak."), or personality tests, which could be sold to businesses or used in marriage counseling. ("Well, there's your problem: you're an Agave and he's a Dieffenbachia. What you need is to neutralize your Agave nature by buying its opposite, which is a Begonia rex-cultorum, and then your relationship will be saved.") He's probably right.

None of this, of course, actually means a damn thing, but hey. If you need to have an answer ready just in case you run into Barbara Walters,⁴ leave your set of numbers in comments, and I'll crunch the numbers and post your results when I get the chance. You don't necessarily have to subscribe to my interpretation of the appropriate metaphors for each criterion, either. Make up your own and give me those numbers if you like.

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¹ The similarity is determined by comparing each plant-rating criterion, C, against the respondent's rating, R, for each of the nine criteria as follows:
similarity = sqrt[(C1-R1)^2 + (C2-R2)^2 + (C3-R3)^2 + . . . + (C9-R9)^2]
It's not merely a matter of comparing the difficulty numbers and picking the three which are closest. Consequently, the results that come up may vary considerably in difficulty ranking, owing to differences in how difficulty-rating criteria are weighted relative to one another, and that sort of thing.
² I ran this both with the metaphorical propagation numbers and the literal ones, and the highest-ranking plant on both lists was P. gloriosum.
³ As not all possible values are represented among the plants, one cannot necessarily figure out what the person is like by knowing what their corresponding plant is. Philodendron gloriosum, for example, is not particularly bothered by pests (I had spider mites once), even though my pest number was very high: it's just the closest fit from among the nine values, among the 300ish plants for which I have values. Dad is totally a Schefflera actinophylla, though.
⁴ In 1981, during an interview with Katherine Hepburn, Barbara Walters asked "If you were a tree, what kind would you be?" This was of course roundly mocked at the time, though Walters has since defended the question by pointing out that Hepburn brought up the whole tree thing first, by saying she would like to be a tree.
So even if it's not going to help you if you run into Barbara Walters in a dark alley someplace (*shudder*), you never know when it might be handy to have a quick answer ready for questions like this.

New Plants

I guess it's been a while since I did one of these posts. I haven't been doing that much plant-buying lately, I thought, but I seem to have a lot of "new" plants anyway. (Some of these have been around for a month and a half, so they're not exactly "new," but they're still new, in that I have not previously mentioned them on the blog.)

Gasteria bicolor var. lilliputiana.
The florist in town also sells some outdoor stuff, mainly (entirely?) annuals, during the early summer, and I got the first three plants of the post from her. Unlike some people, I like Gasterias, though I have a lot less experience with them than their close relatives Haworthia and Aloe.

Pilosocereus pachycladus.
She also had some cacti in 6-inch pots for $15, back in May (there are still a couple left, last I looked), and I'd sort of been looking for a Pilosocereus pachycladus for a while (since seeing one in Cedar Rapids, at Pierson's, several months ago). It was a good price, there were two plants in the pot, and they were reasonably good-sized. I don't know if Pilosocereus is easy or difficult, for a cactus, but so far, so good.

Agave lophantha.
This plant, too, was a $15 6-inch plant from the flower store in town, and I'd also been looking for an Agave lophantha since the same trip to Cedar Rapids when I saw the Pilosocereus. These have since been divided into separate four-inch pots, and appear to be doing well in the basement under lights.

Crassula falcata.
Crassula falcata is a plant I'd asked about in a walkaways post, and then went back to get after being told what it was. Crassulas and I have a very mixed history together, so I don't know that I expect this to work out particularly well in the long run. But it's an interesting plant: I figured I had to at least try.

Aloe haworthioides. (Aloe descoingii x Aloe haworthioides?)
This came from the hardware store that was selling the 'Jenny Craig' Dracaena. Andrew purchased one of these (or something very similar) recently, too, and came up with the ID of Aloe descoingii x Aloe haworthioides for his. Possibly this is a cross, and not a straight A. haworthioides, but that was the first ID I ran across that looked rightish to me, so that's the ID I'm going with until I get a clearer sense of the difference between the two, and/or see some good pictures of the two side-by-side.

Peperomia orba.
Not a lot to say here. This was another plant I previously posted about as a walkaway; it was cheap, I have mixed but mostly positive results with Peperomia (though my P. argyreia is extremely unhappy with me for the last . . . ever), and I'm interested in what this will look like six months from now. So we're trying it.

Didymochlaena truncatula.
Didymochlaena truncatula is also called the "mahogany fern," I'm assuming because of the brownish-red color of the newest fronds. We had a few when I was working in the garden center that got pretty big, and they were pretty nice-looking. Ferns are sort of a gamble, in that a lot of them also need conditions which are cooler or damper than I'm able to provide year-round. So I'm not sure how this will turn out. Googling about the plant turned up a 50-50 mix of sites saying that they're difficult (mainly talking about outdoor care) and sites saying they're easy (primarily talking about indoor care). Which is interesting.

The botanical name drives me crazy, by the way. I first learned the species name as trunculata, and I've also seen it as just plain truncata, but it's actually truncatula, which I try to keep straight with the mnemonic, "the cat you love is in my Didymochlaena." Mixed results so far, with the mnemonic: I still have to check every time I type it.

The genus name is problematic as well, but in a different way: I've never had any trouble remembering how to spell it, because I learned that correctly the first time, but my brain played with the pronunciation. Davesgarden.com says the correct pronunciation is "did-ee-moh-KLAY-ee-nuh," but my brain first pronounced it "DID-ee-MO-ka-LAY-nuh," which, I have discovered, easily corrupts into part of the Los del Río song (and cultural sensation) "Macarena." (DAle a tu CUERPo aleGRIa, MAcarENa / Heeeeeeey, Macarena --> DAle a tu CUERPo ale DID-ee-MO-ka-LAY-nuh / Heeeeeeey, MO-ka-LAY-nuh) Which is, obviously, super-annoying.

Even if I used the davesgarden.com pronunciation, I'm pretty sure "Macarena" would sneak in somehow ("DAle a tu CUERPo ale DID-ee-MO-klay-EE-nuh?"). It's probably hopeless. Perhaps in this one case, I should go against all my principles and call the plant by its common name, not the botanical one.

Polypodium grandiceps.
The Polypodium, like the Peperomia and Didym mahogany fern, came from my ex-job. They have a lot of ferns right now, because the tropical plant situation in Florida is still suffering the effects of last winter's freeze. (Florida: you get freezes every few years. How can this always surprise you? You have to prepare for these things.) Which meant not much of an availability list, and every box of "assorted" anything had ferns filling in for whatever frozen tropicals were missing.

So they now have basically all the ferns: elkhorn (which is our boy P. grandiceps, above), rabbit's-foot (Davallia), bird's-nest (Asplenium), mahogany (Didymochlaena¹), crocodile (Microsorum musifolium 'Crocodyllus'), Boston (Nephrolepis), 'Austral Gem' (an Asplenium cross), button (Pellaea), tiger (variegated Nephrolepis), upside-down (Arachniodes), holly (Cyrtomium), staghorn (Platycerium), bear's-paw (Polypodium), table (Pteris), possum-tail (Scyphularia), tree (Blechnum and Cyathea, among others, though they're not actually ferns) -- basically everything except maidenhair (Adiantum).

Which perhaps makes the fact that I bought a second fern, one I had never particularly cared about or wanted, somewhat more understandable. The odds said I was going to buy some ferns, 'cause that's what they had.

Agave bovicornuta 'Reggae Time.'
The last two plants came from Wallace's, in Bettendorf, IA, last Sunday. We hadn't been there since the orchid show in March, and the weather was such that I could survive outside the house without air conditioning (barely), so it seemed like a golden opportunity to go somewhere. And we did. Oddly, all the purchases from Wallace's had Jamaica-themed cultivar names.

I think I'd seen 'Reggae Time' at Wallace's before, maybe last October, but I asked someone and she thought they'd gotten them in new for this year.² Either way, it's a big plant for the price ($7.99) -- nearly a foot (0.3 m) in diameter now, and the tag says to space them at least three feet (.9 m) apart. (It actually says 36-60 inches, or 0.9-1.5 m.) So it could, theoretically, get very large, though indoors it probably won't. Still, it's a big, scary, angry-looking plant, and I like those.

Dracaena reflexa 'Song of Jamaica.'
Finally, Dracaena reflexa 'Song of Jamaica,' because they had fairly cheap 3-inch plants I could buy and then pot together. It's not a plant I was searching for especially, but my little 'Song of India' has done well enough inside that I've concluded that Dracaena reflexa is not as much trouble as the rumors say, and I wanted a multiple-plant pot because D. reflexas tend not to be that interesting individually. So I made one, when we got home.

There will probably be a post about the walkaways from these trips within the next week or two.

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¹ (Heeeeeeeey Mo-ka-lay-nuh!)
² The ones I remember were definitely not this big, though plants do grow. So these may or may not be the Agaves I remember.

List: Houseplants That Get Tall But Stay Narrow

A very long time ago, someone at Garden Web asked for suggestions for a tall, narrow plant that would stay narrow, rather than spreading out and becoming vase-shaped with time. The reason was because the person had a fairly limited amount of floor space, and wanted the plant in an entryway, so any plants that got wide would eventually take up too much space and no longer be usable in that spot. I provided a number of suggestions in the thread, which for some reason has become a really reliable source of blog hits ever since. Which is kind of weird. I mean, I wouldn't have thought that many people have this problem.

So anyway. Here's a slightly expanded list of more or less upright, narrow, columnar plants that can be kept indoors. They're not all interchangeable -- you'd still need to be able to provide the right conditions as far as light, temperature, etc. And some of them do actually get a little wider with age. But the list below is at least a place to start, when looking for plants that will become tall but not take up a lot of floor space.

Suggestions are welcome, if readers can think of any other plants that fit the category.

Beaucarnea recurvata.

Chamaedorea metallica.

Cordyline glauca, unless cut back.

Dracaena deremensis 'Janet Craig' (shown) and other D. deremensis varieties, unless cut back.

Euphorbia trigona.

Pachypodium lamerei (shown), P. geayi, and other spp., at least for quite a while when younger.

Pilosocereus pachycladus.

Rhapis excelsa.

Sansevieria trifasciata 'Moonglow' (shown), as well as some other S. trifasciata cvv.

Schefflera actinophylla, unless cut back. Some cvv., e.g. 'Renegade,' have more of a tendency to stay columnar than others.
Of these, my favorite three are probably Dracaena deremensis 'Janet Craig,' Euphorbia trigona, and Pachypodium lamerei.

Dracaena will generally be quite a bit wider than its pot, but it will tend to maintain that width for its entire life, getting maybe a little bit wider at the top with age. If cut back, they will resprout from multiple spots on the stem, making the plant a bit wider, but this takes a very long time to happen and isn't likely to be that big of a deal. They're very tolerant of low light, dry air, and other indoor conditions, but need occasional flushing of the soil with water, because they're somewhat mineral sensitive. They're also easily overwatered, so be sure to only water when the soil is very dry, and when you do water, water thoroughly. Too large of a pot can also cause them problems.

Euphorbia trigona is probably my favorite of the three: it needs very bright light and is easily overwatered, but it is otherwise very easy. As plants age, they will grow new shoots at the stems' corners, which will grow up as well, forming a tall narrow column of stems which is widest in the middle. They will generally need only as much floor space as the pot they're in. The sap is toxic, and may be dangerous to children or pets.

Pachypodium lamerei is of about average difficulty. Like the other two, it's easily overwatered, especially if injured. It needs very bright light and may go dormant during the winter, dropping its leaves and slowing water consumption (this isn't inevitable; my personal plant has never gone completely dormant, as far as I can tell, in the three winters I've had it). It's also more prone to spider mites than the other two, especially during the winter. Very old plants, or plants in very ideal conditions, will branch at the top, though this is not common in plants grown indoors year-round. Pachypodium is also both poisonous and covered in sharp, potentially harmful, spines.

I don't recommend against any of these plants especially, though I personally do poorly with Sansevieria trifasciata and don't intend to buy any more of them for that reason. I think most people have more trouble with Rhapis excelsa.

Not pictured:

Browningia hertlingiana
Carnegiea gigantea
Cereus peruvianus
Cordyline fruticosa, unless cut back
Dizygotheca elegantissima, unless cut back
Dracaena fragrans 'Massangeana,' unless cut back
Dracaena marginata, some specimens, unless cut back
Dracaena reflexa 'Anita,' unless cut back
Dracaena reflexa 'Riki,' unless cut back -- is pretty wide to begin with, but doesn't get a lot wider
Dracaena sanderiana
Euphorbia ammak, kinda (they will eventually branch on their own)
Euphorbia drupifera, kinda (they tend to lean with age, has been my experience)
Euphorbia grandicornis, more or less
Isolatocereus dumortieri
Myrtillocactus geometrizans
Pachycereus marginatus
Polyscias balfouriana
Polyscias fruticosa
Schefflera arboricola, some specimens, unless cut back
Stenocereus pruinosus
Stenocereus thurberi
Yucca guatemalensis, unless cut back