Unfinished business: Ads

Okay, well, raise your hand if you're shocked:

Hello,

Thank you for your appeal. We appreciate the additional information you've provided, as well as your continued interest in the AdSense program. However, after thoroughly re-reviewing your account data and taking your feedback into consideration, our specialists have confirmed that we're unable to reinstate your AdSense account.

As a reminder, if you have any questions or concerns about your account, the actions we've taken, or invalid activity in general, you can find more information by visiting
http://www.google.com/adsense/support/bin/answer.py?answer=57153.

Sincerely,

The Google AdSense Team

This was particularly delightful because it was the very first thing I got to read this morning when I got up. Nothing like starting off the day with a hot cup of coffee and an enormously powerful multinational corporation telling you to go to hell.

So if you're thinking about signing up for AdSense, you should maybe take into consideration that they don't have to give you the money. In fact, since they don't even check to see that you're following the rules until you've got $100 in clicks, you get the added cruelty of getting to watch the amount slowly increase, over however many weeks or months that takes, and anticipating the money and looking forward to it, and then they take it away because you've broken the rules that, apparently, are impossible not to break. I don't know how the people who do get AdSense checks manage to do it, but I suspect my mistake was in posting about having the ads and drawing attention to them. Like, the first rule of AdSense is, you don't talk about AdSense. Maybe not. Apparently I'm never going to know.

Random plant event: Breynia disticha cuttings rooted

Okay, well, I knew I was being optimistic about how long the Persea americana profile was going to take to write, but apparently I was even being optimistic about how optimistic I was being (Optimism: it's a slippery slope, kids.), because that's not anywhere near happening. (UPDATE: It's done.) Also, when I set up this schedule, I didn't know that the in-laws would be visiting on Saturday, so that complicated things too.

The point being that I don't have much for you today, because I haven't had much time to work, and what time I have worked was spent on a profile which is nowhere near completed, so this might not be my most interesting week. Similarly, if I owe you an e-mail or you've donated via PayPal, it could be a while before I get back to you. For which I apologize abjectly, of course.

The plant-related content today has to do with my trying to propagate my Breynia disticha. It's not so much that I wanted or needed more of them; I was just unhappy with the way my plant was getting taller without really getting any bushier, and was hoping to cut it back to induce branching. Which, when you cut back a plant, you're left with pieces of plant, and as long as I had the pieces I figured I'd try to propagate. So I put some damp vermiculite in a cup, stuck the Breynia pieces in, taped another cup over the top, and waited. And behold! Roots!


And actually it didn't take long to see new leaves and roots. I don't remember any of the dates in question, but it couldn't have taken more than two months. That is more or less in line with what everybody says about Breynia as a weedy ornamental in semitropical climates like South Florida: the davesgarden.com page on it includes many, many people complaining about the suckers and seedlings. The plant wants to reproduce very badly.

It's less enthusiastic about growing, at least indoors. My plant has been with me for roughly two and a half years (since October 2008), and I haven't always been able to keep it as wet as it would prefer. It drops leaves when it gets too dry. But it's been a robust grower and is mostly pest-free (there have been occasional minor problems with spider mites), plus it turns out to propagate readily, so I expect it to be around for at least another couple years.

Garden Bloggers Bloom Day, January 2011

Last year around this time, I got upset about the number of GBBD participants who were bemoaning the lack of blooms in January, as though houseplants were never invented. And I still, as far as it goes, don't have much sympathy for those people, 'cause it's not like indoor plants are some big secret or highly technical thing nobody knows about. Why, there are even entire blogs devoted to them! But: on the theory that you catch more flies with honey,¹ I have decided to lead by example instead, and try showing the uninitiated masses that flowers in January are not only conceivable, but nigh inevitable, even in cold climates, under certain circumstances.

Will anyone decide to give houseplants a try because of this post? Oh, probably not. But it feels more productive than waving my arms and shouting at people again. And it's less douchey. Better to light a candle than to curse the damn darkness. Also it seems like I have sort of a responsibility, as an intense indoor gardener person, to provide flower photos for all the deprived outdoor-only people at this time of year. So here we are.

The photos were all taken on January 11, not January 15, which I don't know the precise rules of the GBBD but I'm hoping that that won't get me thrown out or put in stocks or anything. If I didn't start a little early, I wouldn't be able to post at all -- photo-heavy posts take a long time to write. (This one took me most of last Wednesday.) Anyway. Here's everything that's blooming at the moment in the Subjunctive Botanical Gardens.

Anthurium 'Pandola.'
The biggest group of bloomers right now is probably the Anthuriums, partly because they bloom readily for me and partly because the blooms last a ridiculously long time.

Anthurium NOID. (background: Dracaena deremensis 'Lemon-Lime' and 'Malaika.')

Anthurium 'White Gemini.'

Anthurium 'Gemini.'

Anthurium 'Florida.'

Anthurium 'Orange Hot.'

Anthurium NOID.

Anthurium 'Pacora.'
The Pileas bloom off and on throughout the year, but especially in the winter. They're not hugely ornamental, but they're still flowers, so they count.

Pilea 'Moon Valley.'
A handful of succulents are flowering at the moment too.

Euphorbia milii.

Kalanchoe millotii.

Echeveria coccinea.
The white NOID Schlumbergera I bought a little while ago dropped almost all of the buds it had left, but one held on and opened last week anyway.

Schlumbergera NOID.
The big peace lily blooms for me at very irregular intervals, though the flowers are usually very short-lived. Feeding tends to bring on blooms, though it's never guaranteed.

Spathiphyllum NOID, possibly 'Mauna Loa' or 'Sensation.'
The Murraya paniculata had stopped flowering for a month, month and a half recently. I gave it some fertilizer with micronutrients two waterings ago, and it responded with a huge flush of new buds. The micronutrients thing seems to be extremely important for Murraya.

Murraya paniculata.
While we're talking about fertilizer producing flowers, I suppose I should tell you that Abutilons will stop flowering if they run out of fertilizer. It's almost like a switch gets thrown; it's weird. But pour some Osmocote on the soil and in a couple weeks you'll never know it had stopped. They're admirably direct that way.

Abutilon 'Bella Pink.'

Abutilon 'Bella Red.'

Abutilon 'Bella Vanilla.'
Lastly, the gesneriads are starting to step up. Nematanthus usually gets excited at this time of year:

Nematanthus NOID.
And although it's technically too early to count as a flower, the developing buds on N. 'Tropicana' are sort of pretty in their own right.

Nematanthus 'Tropicana.'
I had thought that the Aeschynanthus speciosus was finished for the year, once it stopped flowering a few months ago, but it surprised me by producing one last batch of flowers.

Aeschynanthus speciosus.
I don't think my old NOID African violet has been flowerless in more than a year now.

Saintpaulia NOID.
And the just-purchased Saintpaulia 'Shimmer Shake' is pumping out blooms like crazy; it didn't take it that long to do, so I'm puzzled as to why it ever stopped in the greenhouse where I bought it.

Saintpaulia 'Shimmer Shake.'
And finally, Episcia 'Coco' has almost been in continuous bloom since it arrived. I've gotten two other Episcias that haven't yet, and I'm not sure why not, though they're probably in less light. Maybe that's all the explanation one needs.

Episcia 'Coco.'
I didn't count: the two recently-purchased orchids that still have blooms on them, because I didn't do anything to cause those blooms to happen so I don't feel I should get credit for them.² I also didn't count the Hoya lacunosa (just buds at the moment) or the H. lacunosa 'Royal Flush' (ditto). The Hoya polyneura seems confused at the moment about whether or not it wants to flower: the buds I talked about a while ago are still present, but they don't seem to be getting any larger. One of the Spathiphyllums technically has a flower, but it didn't get photographed because the flower appeared a long time ago and is all but dead now.

Even so, that's 23 1/2 flowers, in more or less presentable shape, which appeared spontaneously, in mid-January, in Iowa.

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¹ The full saying is "you catch more flies with honey than vinegar." It's not actually true, of course (additional evidence), but then folk wisdom often isn't. I suggest the revision, "you catch more frat boys with free beer and strippers than with warm flat 7-Up and trigonometry." Though that's longer to say. And begs the question of why anyone would want to catch frat boys in the first place (but then, nobody ever gives a reason for wanting to catch flies, either). At least it's got the advantage of being true.
² Yes, I counted the Schlumbergera, which already had the buds on it when I bought it, but I think I should get some credit for it, since the overwhelming majority of buds on that plant dropped off.

Music Video: Titus Jones "I Wanna Bulletproof Dancer" (Taylor Swift / Whitney Houston / Robyn / La Roux mashup)

This one's a bit clubbier than the others I've posted so far, so it's less weird, more throbby/thumpy, and about a minute longer than it needed to be, but I like it anyway. Robyn is like ketchup: put enough in and anything becomes palatable. Even Taylor Swift.¹

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¹ (No, I am not suggesting that anyone eat Taylor Swift. Or Robyn, for that matter. You knew what I meant.)

Saturday morning Sheba and/or Nina picture

Oy. Not my best week. Stupid Google. (Though: without Google, this blog wouldn't exist at all, so that complicates the emotions.)

On the up side, we got snow on Monday and Tuesday. Not very much, and it came with a blast of cold, but any snow is good snow as far as I'm concerned. I probably do need to work on my ice fort / igloo / ice wall / whatever this coming week if I'm going to build one. So far, I've been having trouble coming up with an appropriately-sized, smooth, rectangular or cylindrical container in which to freeze the water: it's not hard to find something of the right size, but it is difficult to find something resilient enough not to crack after the water in it expands. (Ideally, I'd also need lots of identical containers, in order to build as fast as I could.) And the container would have to be something we have already. I'm looking into plastic clamshell containers like I use for Begonia propagation, because I have a lot of them saved up and don't care if they're ruined, but they're still problematic because they're not very deep: I'd wind up with a lot of wide but short blocks. We'll see how it goes, I suppose.

The photo for this post isn't from the most recent snowfall, but pictures of snow all tend to look the same anyway. Sheba's expression here is roughly the same as the expression I had in the Times article (I only have about five decent fake smiles in me on any particular occasion, and the picture they went with was shot number 25 or so), which makes me wonder if there isn't something to the observation about people looking like their pets.

Music Video: G3rst "Bloom to Me" (Koop / Nirvana mashup)

Can I claim this as being in honor of tomorrow's Garden Bloggers' Bloom Day? Probably too much of a stretch. Anyway. Nirvana's "In Bloom," reinterpreted through a Swedish jazz duo I'd never heard of, which somehow produces a swing version of Nirvana. The video doesn't change, but the photoshopped image of Kurt Cobain is amusing, so. Enjoy. (?)



I don't know why Nirvana gets mashed up so much. I figure it's got to be either especially easy (could all the individual tracks have been released to the public at some point?) or especially rewarding (whether they want to or not, everybody is familiar with Nirvana to some degree, so playing with their music might get you more attention).

Random plant event: Kalanchoe millotii flower

This took a long time to go from bud to flower. I was surprised. (The post about the buds was 24 November, which was more than seven weeks ago.) On the other hand, it looks like the blooms are going to be spread out over a long period, so the plant will be blooming for an unusually long time, too.

If only the flowers were, y'know, pretty. Not that they're hideous; they're just not really big enough to be noticeable. Oh well.

List: Plants for Offices

I've been asked by a reader to suggest some plants that would work well in an office setting. Unfortunately, the list I came up with is kind of boring, because offices, taken as a group, present a very specific kind of unnatural environment. Generally, one is talking about low light, very low humidity, and occasional drought (if the office is closed on weekends and holidays, as is typical). Occasional cold may also be a problem in some places, because not all businesses bother to heat buildings which aren't in use, like on weekends, nights, and holidays. It's not a combination that's good, or even tolerable, for very many plants.

Obviously people whose workspace has a window, or who can add a small desk light, have more options to consider, but for purposes of this list, I'm assuming you can't add a light.

Chinese evergreen, Aglaonema cvv. (shown: 'Maria') Some varieties are better with cold than others, and there's no easy way to tell which are and which aren't, so this isn't a great choice for offices where the heat is turned off on the weekend, but they're good with drought, low humidity, and low light. They typically need to be cut back every couple years, and they're slow to resprout, so this may not be a good choice if you're looking for a plant to stay in the same spot for years and years.

Shoebutton tree, Ardisia elliptica. Very well adapted to office conditions in general, though drought may result in some leaf drop. The biggest drawback to Ardisia as an office plant is that they're very fast growers: they need frequent repotting, and the growth habit becomes less compact once they hit maturity, though they remain easy to care for.

Cast-iron plant, Aspidistra elatior. Sort of the opposite problem from Ardisia: Aspidistras are very slow-growing plants, and take a long time to get around to doing anything. On the other hand, low light, low humidity, occasional cold, and occasional drought are all taken in stride. Hot, dry offices may encourage spider mites, but that's about it for cultural problems. Aspidistras tend to be hard to find, and are more expensive than most other plants of the same size when you can find them, though.

Clivia miniata. Wasn't sure whether to include Clivia on this list or not: though dry air is well-tolerated, and they actually require cooler temperatures and drought for part of the year in order to bloom, light is potentially a problem. Ideally, these need bright indirect light, though plants can survive in less. In an office setting, you should probably not expect flowers, though they could make perfectly fine foliage plants.

Pothos, Epipremnum aureum. (shown: 'Marble Queen') Dry air and occasional missed waterings aren't problems. Low light is fine, though variegated varieties like 'Marble Queen' may revert to all-green if the plant is in too dark of a spot. Cold below 50-60F (10-16C) will slow or stop growth, and prolonged cold can damage or kill plants, depending on how cold and for how long, but most people, in most offices, should be able to grow pothos. May need to be cut back every few years for best appearance.

Heart-leaf philodendron, Philodendron hederaceum. Fine with low light, low humidity, occasional drought. Somewhat more cold-tolerant than pothos, but otherwise very similar in form and care.

Snake plant or mother-in-law's tongue, Sansevieria trifasciata. (shown: NOID birdsnest-type) Very tolerant of drought, though if you have helpful co-workers who water it for you, it may not last long, especially in combination with cold. Low light and low humidity are fine. In darker locations, leaves tend to become weak and floppy. The shorter birdsnest types seem to be touchier than the versions with longer leaves, particularly when it comes to overwatering.

Strawberry begonia, Saxifraga stolonifera. Extended drought is a problem, but dry air and low light are tolerated well, and cooler temperatures don't appear to be a problem at all, at least not the degree of cold one would expect in a reasonably large, insulated building.

Peace lily, Spathiphyllum cvv. Boring, boring, boring, but cold-tolerant into the 40s (F; 4-9C), low-light-tolerant to make you weep, and unbothered by dry air, whatever people will tell you. The only thing is: they don't allow a lot of margin for error when it comes to watering, and either you know how to water one or you don't. (The answer, for the record, is to wait until the day the leaves first start to droop, then water thoroughly, drain off the excess, and then do not water it again until you see the leaves begin to droop again. Letting the plant get too dry between waterings will cause some older leaves to drop, and not letting it get dry enough will lead to dead leaf tips and margins.) Flowers are most likely following a dose of fertilizer, but can happen at any time.

Arrowhead vine, Syngonium podophyllum. I'm not a huge fan of Syngoniums, because it's been my experience that unless one goes to a lot of effort, the best they're ever going to look is the moment when you buy them. Once they start to vine, which is usually within a few months, the new leaves get smaller, the plant's form gets stranger, and then you either learn to live with it or you cut back the vining bits to the base and hope they resprout in a timely manner. However, Syngoniums are still technically suitable for office settings, being fairly tolerant of missed waterings (or excessive waterings, for that matter, unlike a lot of the plants on this list), dry air, and low light. Cold may slow Syngonium down, but is unlikely to kill them.
For the recommends, well, these are all pretty sturdy plants, so doing recommends is kind of unnecessary. I've personally had the most positive experiences with Aglaonema, Ardisia, and Philodendron, and the most trouble with Sansevieria. Your results may vary.

Not pictured:

• Ardisia crenata (coral berry) As for A. elliptica.
• Chlorophytum comosum (spider plant) Best in offices that never get cold and have pretty good light. Minerals, especially fluoride, can cause leaves to get dead tips. Keep away from heat / air conditioning vents.
• Chlorophytum x 'Fire Flash' (Fire Flash, Green Orange, Mandarin plant) As for C. comosum; keep out of direct sun.
• Dieffenbachia cvv. (dumb cane) Warm, bright offices only. (Doesn't need sun, just bright indirect light.) Grows fast and needs to be cut back regularly; the larger varieties seem to be easier on all counts.
• Dracaena deremensis cvv., including 'Janet Craig,' 'Warneckei,' 'Lemon-Lime'/'Goldstar,' 'Art,' 'Janet Craig Compacta,' 'Malaika,' etc. Not good for offices with helpful watering buddies. Mineral buildup or overwatering can lead to dead leaf tips and margins. Also not good for offices which may go below 60F/16C.
• Dracaena fragrans (corn plant) As for D. deremensis cvv.
• Dracaena marginata (Madagascar dragon tree) As for D. deremensis cvv., plus overhead light is much preferred to light from the side -- side-lit plants tend to look droopy, as the leaves adjust their position to take advantage of as much light as possible.
• Dracaena sanderiana ("lucky bamboo," ribbon plant) Ugh. If you really have to. It's probably best to grow this in soil, rather than water, and if you do grow it in water, you'll need to do regular complete changes of the water, and add a little fertilizer from time to time. I don't think they're particularly good about cold, but they'll survive dry air, drought, and low light just fine.
• Radermachera sinica (China doll) Generally tolerant of dry air, temperature extremes, and low light, but an aggressively fast grower, likely to look gangly once the dwarfing hormones wear off, and somewhat fussy about water, so definitely not ideal.
• Rhapis excelsa (lady palm) Mineral buildup and dry air can cause burnt leaf tips, so these are also not ideal office plants, but they're flexible on temperature, drought, and light. They do need to be repotted every couple years, at least, to avoid root rot.
• Sansevieria cylindrica ("wisdom horns") Tolerant of office conditions generally (though don't push it on cold unless you can also keep it pretty dry), though it would be happier in direct sun. Almost certain to be slow-growing in an office setting.
• Zamioculcas zamiifolia (ZZ plant, eternity plant) Another one to avoid if you have helpful co-workers or if the office is ever unheated during cold spells. Otherwise very adaptable but slow-growing. Plants grown in very low light will produce weak, pale, stretched leaves.