Saturday, May 17, 2008

I Get [Imaginary] Letters

Imaginary Reader1 writes,

Dear Mr. Subjunctive,

I've noticed that even though you claim to be learning about annuals and perennials and all that, you never do any plant profiles about them. Houseplants are nice and everything, but let's see this education you've supposedly been getting already.

Imaginary Reader

P.S. Despite my insinuations above, your blog is the Bestest Blog Ever!!!1!!1!1!1!!eleven!!1!1, and if you ever wrote a book -- which, by the way, you should do -- I would totally buy, like, five hundred copies. Of the hardback. And then read each copy one at a time. And buy five hundred copies for each of my friends.
Gerbera jamesonii.

Well, thanks, Imaginary Reader. I'm blushing, I am. The reason why I continue to neglect the outdoor stuff is the obvious one: I still have nothing to say beyond ooooo, purty flowers. Don't misunderstand: I'm developing enthusiasms and attachments and interests, but I'm still not trying to grow much new stuff at home, by myself,2 which is a different enough thing from growing it at work that I think my work experience kinda shouldn't count yet. So I'm not getting any experience that strikes me as bloggable. I mean, I trust most of the readers who could possibly care already know as much as I know about Impatiens, which is that you don't put it in sun. Unless it's the kind that's supposed to be okay in sun.3 In which case maybe you can put it in sun.

And, while it's true that doing a plant profile almost always results in me learning something, and therefore, maybe I don't actually need to know much before beginning the profile, with a lot of these plants, I already think about them a lot more than I would really like to. To return to the Impatiens example: it's everywhere at work; I can't get away from it. I hate it. Fucking Impatiens. Maybe after it's all gone and I can look back nostalgically, maybe then I'll be interested in thinking more about it, but for right now, I'd rather have some kind of complex dental surgery.

Thanks for writing,



Photo credit: me. "I Get Letters" inspired by the same feature at Cactus Blog, who apparently don't have to resort to making letters up.

1 As in, I made up this letter myself so that I could answer it. I hope this doesn't disillusion anybody.
2 I did buy some coleus (Solenostemon scutellarioides), though I think I intend to keep it inside, and I also got three six-packs of Portulaca for the outside planters. WCW sold me on the Portulaca by saying that they re-seed themselves every year. I would, no doubt, grow more than that, if my "yard" wasn't 2.75 ft2 (0.26 m2)spread over three different planters.
3 We have some newish varieties of a New Guinea-type Impatiens, that are claimed to be okay for full sun. I can't really get a read on whether we believe this to be true or not; WCW seems maybe a little skeptical. They are, in any case, doing okay in the greenhouse so far, in full sun, so maybe.


No Rain said...


Water Roots said...

Ha ha ha...thanks for the laugh. I actually thought of you today when I paid a visit to Home Depot. There must have been a gazillion people in the outdoor greenhouse shopping for their gardens. And while they looked content and excited as they walked around with annuals, perennials and what not in hand, the employees looked stressed, dehydrated and exhausted. I thought “Oh my...this is how Mr. Subjunctive must look (and feel) these days dealing with the explosion of outdoor garden plants...”