What if You'd Been Born to Sarah Palin?

The internet is now home to a Sarah Palin Name Generator. Which I reckon we should all have seen coming. I feel mildly guilty for linking to this -- the kids didn't name themselves, after all, and they all have plenty to deal with as it is (Bristol in particular, as we all know whether we want to or not), so having total strangers mocking their names is a little unnecessary and cruel.

But then, to put it in perspective, their mother would probably prefer me to be tortured into a different sexual orientation and/or dead, so maybe it's not so bad. The kids can make this one little sacrifice for me.


If I use "mr_subjunctive" as my entry, I'm told I would have been named "Gamebird Kelp Palin." I guess I'm okay with that. It has a ring to it.

Just to note: I'm not sure what the process is by which the generator works, but most such name generators will just throw out random stuff, no matter what you input. This one is more sophisticated, and it actually matters what you type in. A blank entry gets you "Knife Pile Palin" (a totally awesome name, actually, IMO), consistently. My actual name gets me different results depending on whether I include my middle initial, middle name, or nothing, and I get different results if I put my surname first than I do if I put it last. So that's interesting.

While we're here, you might want to check out this post from Shakesville. Just to tease it a little, it contains the sentence:

A former real estate agent, Ms. Havemeister cited her childhood love of cows as one of her qualifications for running the [State Division of Agriculture, a] roughly $2 million agency.

Which I'm sure Palin saw no problem with that logic, since in her world being able to see Russian soil means you're qualified to make deals with Putin that will affect the entire free world. If you drink a soda while riding in a car, you could be Palin's Secretary of Transportation and head of the FDA! Act now! Positions are limited!

So does Gamebird have any siblings? Let's hear who else we've got out there.

(Name generator via Living the Scientific Life)