Wednesday, September 15, 2010


For the record, I'm kind of miffed that nobody's taken me up on the Angelonia 'Jolie' idea from earlier. (One could even, as Hermes noted, plant your Angelonia 'Jolie' in your "Brad Pit.")

But that's okay. I have others. Like for example, I want the next hot Aloe hybrids to be named 'Dolly' and/or 'Govna.' I'm sort of amazed Aloe 'Dolly,' at least, doesn't already exist. Seriously, people. This needs to happen.

And although it's not a pun particularly, I think 'Knife Pile' would be a nice name for an Agave. "Knife Pile" comes from the Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator; it's what you'd get back if you didn't type anything and just hit enter. As names go, I think Agave 'Knife Pile' is both memorable and appropriate.

The name generator, incidentally, has been altered since I first saw it, and now returns "Blaster Commando" for a null entry, which would also make a good Agave name, albeit one that's a little less straightforwardly descriptive.


Thomas said...

Mr. Subjunctive, show some mercy for my poor neurons and glial cells.

And as for the Palin Re-naminator: I entered my name and was re-christened Fleck Rookie. Then I wondered what would happen if I entered Fleck Rookie; I became Bullpen Cola. I am stopping now, going for a walk.

But before I go, how about this. Cattleya 'Ahnmeineu Swedder'.

mr_subjunctive said...


That took me a while to figure out, but it was worth it.

Unknown said...

If I ever develop an Aloe hybrid, I'll keep it in mind. The brangelina thing is to heteronormative though. *Unrelated* Finally, the Big Brother season finale! I don't have to watch this crap any more.

I just got an Alocasia grandis 'Purple Prince' and I'm crazy charmed by it. Now you Know. Also a Black Anthurium, that looks identical to the red version. It allegedly doesn't have a variety name yet. It's not the separate species that only has black flowers. Ramble ramble. Ramble Ramble Ramble Ramble.

Liza said...

Sometimes, I wish I could take the husband aside and say, "You know, he's helping people. He really is. I know it doesn't seem like he is sometimes, especially with posts like this one, but he is. You have the patience of a saint, and even not meeting you before, I love you, and it's ok to hate plants. Hang in there baby boy!" mr_s. you keep on being you! Respect to you both!

Pat said...

Aloe dorotheae 'And Friends' do for you, Aaerelon?

I do hear Aloe vera pronounced 'Allo, Vera! a lot.

Are there varieties of Agave tequilana called Sunrise and Slammer?

Remember to tell the folks at Curious Taxonomy if you get anything named quirkily. I brought their attention to a few, mostly on the Ribaldry subsection of Etymology. They didn't use "The Dactylorchis (finger testicle) genus has been renamed Dactylorhiza (finger root), avoiding any double entendre."

Pat said...

Thankfully Big Brother is now over in the UK for ever! Channel 4, E4 and More4 are going to have to find real programmes to put on.

Paul said...

Who wants to be reminded of Angelina? She makes me sick to my ass.

mr_subjunctive said...


Heteronormative wouldn't be the word I'd use: there's nothing in those names that assumes universal heterosexuality. It's just, you know, more or less a statement of fact. Angelina Jolie exists (whether Paul likes it or not). Brad Pitt exists. They are married, as a matter of public record. (Lots and lots of public record.)

A black Anthurium? Pictures or it didn't happen, as they say on the internet.


The husband doesn't hate plants. It's just that his life doesn't revolve around them.

He does have the patience of a saint, though, when it comes to me. Less patient with inanimate objects.


I doubt Curious Taxonomy would be interested in any of the stuff I've suggested so far, save for maybe the Tacca suggestions from a while back. Perhaps I should work harder.


That was, er, vivid, if kind of unprovoked. What'd she ever do to you?

Pat said...

Angelina Jolie is recorded as saying "I would probably have married Jenny if I hadn't married my husband. I fell in love with her the first second I saw her." I don't think she counts as heteronormative just because her relationship with a man is subject to overexposure.

I was very attracted to Angelina until she turned broody and sensible. All my girlfriends have been lovely nutters with big, crazy smiles.

telipogon said...

I want someone to breed a birch tree called Betula 'Clark'

Sentient Meat said...

Definitely should have Aloe 'Dolly'. How about Agave 'At The Office'? (It helps if you mispronounce agave.)